


Hollow Moon

by Mcusekat



Series: Hollow Moon [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Fake AH Crew, Getting Back Together, M/M, Werewolf AU, werewolf!Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcusekat/pseuds/Mcusekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the last year Ryan's been driving through the country, sleeping in crappy hotels and coming to terms with his life. It'd been nearly a year since he left the crew, his only friends, left Ray, and he was convinced it was for their own good. But, after Geoff calls him in for a heist he starts to wonder if he made the right decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from an Awolnation song.  
> 

   The moon was high in the sky. Ryan watched it wearily. There was a tiny sliver missing from the moon, barely noticeable. Tomorrow it would be full.

   He swallowed hard and tried to forget that. His GPS told him he was 200 miles from Los Santos. There was nothing in sight, nothing but fields of dirt and grass. He took a dirt road and started driving away from the main road. Dust kicked up around the car and he made sure all the windows were shut tight.  He parked the car and climbed into the back seat. It was too small for him to lay comfortably, but he didn’t want to fall asleep on the road so it would have to do.

~

   He didn’t sleep long; his phone alarm went off around 7am. He jerked awake, then groaned. He examined his surroundings as he woke up. It was all just dirt, dust, and empty fields surrounding him for miles. There was a small house in the distance behind one field, a squat teal thing. He couldn't imagine living so far away from everyone. Then again, that was how he'd spent the last year.

   He climbed in the car and headed to the road.

   He wasn't sure where he was going, only knew he needed to get as far away from civilization as possible by night fall. He’d be passing Vegas soon. He could probably find somewhere between Barstow and Vegas to hole up for the night and ride things out. He planned on that.

   The drive was filled with urges and impulses. Cars became nuisances, and he kept catching himself pressing harder on the gas than he should be. His stomach was constantly aching for food, but if he ate then he'd get sicker after the change.

   It took awhile to drive through Vegas, especially when he did so with a steady stream of curses escaping his lips. The traffic was terrible, and he was frustrated to hell. Once he broke city limits the traffic waned, but the further he got in the day the worse he became. Everything affected him, from the uncomfortable way the fabric of his shirt touched his skin to the way his seat was positioned.

   As the day wore on he grew more stressed too. Seeing the sun lower in the sky steadily was nerve wracking. Come 5pm he was in a quaint little town with people wandering the streets. He was hyper aware of the blood in their veins, and the radio static pissed him off.

   By some luck he found a motel on a long strip of empty road. It was painted some faded pink with a sign that  read 'Desert Cliff Motel.' The sun was beginning to set, and he figured he was a good enough distance from any towns or residential areas. The motel, of course, had a few residents, but he couldn't stand sitting in the car for any longer than he already been. He rarely had a change that had no casualties nowadays. It was the price he's paid for leaving.

   He got a room and started the preparation. He walked to the truck stop and bought shower products, laid out a fresh set of clothes on the bed, locked the door and hooked the knob with the chair, then locked himself in the bathroom. He sat in the tub and waited, waited .

   It started with a headache, and slowly drifted down until his entire body felt only pain . The pain was comparable to being hit by a truck, like every bone in his body was shattered and he was bruised everywhere. Usually, he passed out after a few minutes of this, of his bones breaking and realigning themselves to cater to his new form, but the time before felt like a hundred thousand years.

   He bit down on his arm to muffle the groans. His vision was blurry with tears and the last thing he saw before blacking out was the pure porcelain white of the inside of the tub.

   He woke up covered in blood and dirt in the middle of a field. His skin was hot and sticky, and when he tugged on his shirt flakes of dry blood broke off and settled in the dust. He sighed, knowing it wasn't his own.

   He laid there for a moment, staring at the clouds. His stomach felt like an earthquake, and he knew if he tried to move too fast the contents would come back up. On top of that, his entire body felt bruised. The process of transformation, the breaking and realigning of all his bones, wasn't something that didn't leave a mark. Sure, it hurt significantly less now than it had the first time, through means of prolonged exposure and getting use to it or his body adapting to feel less pain. Either way, it still hurt like a bitch every moon.

   He sat up slowly and looked around. The faded pink hotel wasn't too far away, luckily. He hobbled to his feet and started limping over. It took awhile, especially since he had to stop every minute or so to dry heave into some sort of fauna.

   When he got there he noticed a few police cars parked in the lot. Thus, he had to go the long way and stealth his way to his room. This was fairly easy. The police seemed to be more focused on the corpse laying gutted by the lobby entrance than a blood covered fellow limping into his room.

   He shut the door quietly behind himself and assessed the damage done to his room. The wooden desk chair was in pieces on the floor, and the bathroom door was covered in deep gashes, like claws dragged down the wood. Other than these minor things, however, everything was fine. He pulled a hundred from his wallet and left it tucked under one of the plastic ups on the counter with a note reading  'Sorry !'

   A long shower cleansed him of the blood, and the gross feeling left on his skin from the blood. Afterwards he turned on the TV and nursed a bottle of water with added Alka-Seltzer.

   “-And we’re hearing news of a possible werewolf attack of Highway 15 last night. People at the Desert Cliffs Motel reported hearing screams around 2am coming from the empty lot behind the hotel, and this morning an unidentified body, thought to be a guest at said hotel, was found on the porch of the front lobby of the motel. Authorities say that there's not much they can do to stop the werewolf attacks, but remind people to follow the safety guidelines on full moons to keep you from becoming the next victim of an attack. Scary stuff, Gerry.

   “I agree, Michelle. Scary stuff.”

   Ryan turned the TV off with a sigh. He pulled his jacket on and grabbed the key from the desk and headed to the lobby to check out. Half of the porch was sectioned off, where the body was he assumed, and an officer was talking to the owner of the motel. From what he could see they hadn't cleaned up completely yet. The actual corpse was gone, into the ambulance parked on the curb he assumed, but the cement was still stained red and splattered with unidentified gore.

   Ryan ducked back behind the corner and headed to his car instead.

   He grabbed a plastic grocery bag and brought it into the hotel room, then wrapped up the bloodied clothes. He put the rest of his things; shower supplies, cheap junk food, in his duffel bag. By the time he'd finished packing, the gore was mostly gone, save for blood splatter and lingering officers.

   “Morning,” he said as he walked by the officer. He made a point of not looking down at the stain. He was still queasy from his late night snack, and he wasn't sure if his stomach could handle it.

   “Morning,” the officer said. He let Ryan pass into the lobby.

   “Did you enjoy your stay?” the person at the desk asked as he took Ryan’s key.

   “I mean, besides the screaming last night it was pleasant,” Ryan replied, and they shrugged.

   “Scary, huh? Wish they could do something about those damn werewolves. Arrest them at least, you know. Murder is murder, whether you mean to do it or not.”

   Ryan agreed, then exited the lobby. The officer stopped him at the door.

   “Do you mind answering a few questions? You’re not in any trouble, we just want to shine some light on the situation,” the officer asked. "We're doing this to everyone."

   “Sure,” Ryan said.

   The officer flashed a grin, then turned to another page in his notebook.

   “What’s your name sir?”

   “James. James King.” That was a lie.

   “And where are you headed?”

   “Los Santos.” That wasn't.

   The officer nodded, then moved on to questions like where was he last night “Asleep, for the most part. Hard to sleep when you’re listening to someone die.” Cue distant look and shudder. He was a good actor, or liar at least, and this wasn’t his first talk with a police officer. He knew what they wanted to hear and how to deliver it convincingly enough.

   When the cop was done, Ryan knew they were on good terms. The cop thanked him for his time and let Ryan go on his merry way.

   Back on the road, Ryan felt better. He turned on the radio for background noise and focused on getting to Los Santos.

   He could never stay away for long. Initially he'd planned on moving to the east coast, New York perhaps, but California, ans Los Santos especially, remained on his mind. He visited often, staying low and making sure no one he knew recognized him. He never did anything, besides hit a few gas stations and visit some bars or burger joints he frequented in his past. He just came for the aura and the familiarity.

   It was high afternoon when he arrived. The traffic was at it's worst, but Ryan still remembered all the short cuts and routes they took to get past the worst of it. He bought a room a Motel 6, then took advantage of the hot water and semi comfortable beds. The long car ride was worse on his body than anything else. He'd emptied his stomach on the side of the highway a few hours back, and now his innards felt hollow and achy too. When he fell asleep it seemed a miracle, a God granted relief on his aching body.

   Only it turned out to be some cruel joke, as someone had decided to call him not 10 minutes into his nap.

   He hesitated before grabbing it. He hadn't had a call in ages. Or just under a year. And only 5 or so people in the world knew his personal phone number, save for the phone company and perhaps a few telemarketers.

   The screen read  'Unknown  Number' and he considered not answering, but the bit of wishful thinking led him to answering it.

   “Heard you were back in town.”

   Ray. A thousand memories, emotions rushed him and for a moment he could only feel the hollow ache of guilt in his chest. He swallowed hard before choking out an answer. "How do you know."

   “Because I know you,” Ray said. Ryan didn’t miss the note of longing in the tone.

   “Why does it matter?” Ryan asked.

   Ray was quiet for a moment. Ryan listened to his breathes, quiet and controlled. If he closed his eyes and ignored the boxy sound of the phone he could imagine he was still in bed a year ago, resting his head on Ray's chest, the room silent and still as if frozen in time.

   Ryan quickly suppressed that thought. 

   “I was wondering how things went yesterday.”

   “Fine. One casualty, that’s it.” Ryan tried his best to sound casual, like he wasn't feeling a thousand emotions all directly related to guilt and longing.

   “That's good."

   Ryan sighed. “I know you called me for a reason,” he said. “Not just to chat.”

   Ray was quiet for a moment. “We were wondering if you’d like to do another job with the crew,” Ray said.

   That surprised him. He hadn’t worked with the crew in a year or so, thought they all hated him now. The break up with Ray hadn’t been a smooth one, and on the last heist he went a little mad and almost got them all killed because of it. He liked the crew, and wished constantly that he’d left on better terms with them all rather than disappearing into the night. If he was them, he'd hate himself. Hell, he didn't have to be them to hate himself.

   “Why?”

   "You work well with the team. Better than anyone else we've tried to add.”

   Ryan scoffed. "Yeah? That last month or so must've been some sort of hallucination then."

   “We're still your friends, Ryan. None of us blame you for what happened, not a single one of us.”

   "I abandoned everyone because of it, without a single word of goodbye. Fuck, I really screwed everyone over," Ryan said, sounding less argumentative and more broken. "I'm better now, I am, but I still don't know if I'm stable enough to not let that happen again."

   Ray was quiet for a moment. "We don't care. You're our friend, dude, we're willing to help you learn to control it."

   “I’ll do it,” he said suddenly, surprising even himself.

   “Ok," Ray breathed, sounding a little surprised. "I’ll text you a time and place to meet Geoff.”

~

   They worked well together, him and Ray, so when he joined the crew Geoff put them together on most jobs. It was inevitable that they’d grow closer, but still it was a gradual thing. Ryan was distrusting of new people and Ray rarely ever talked, much less about himself. Thus, Ryan trusted Ray the least of any of them.

   When it did eventually happen, when Ray let Ryan break through the wall he built, when Ryan realized he didn’t have to worry about the other, it was emotional. Being the only two in the crew who didn’t drink they got a lot of alone time together while the others went out and partied. It was on one of those nights when Ray told him why he joined the crew.

   “My dad was a dealer,” he said with a shrug. “Not many job opportunities in Los Santos, especially not on the side we lived in. You make a lot of dangerous enemies in that business.” He got quiet. “he was careful, but not careful enough. Got followed home one day. The guy shot up the place. Hit my mom on accident, paralyzed her from the waist down. My dad started to freak out, the guy started to freak out. He killed my dad right in front of me. I was only 9 at the time. Paranoid the hell out of me. I got way into guns and weapons, and got really good with them too. Figured, fuck, if I'm going to spend all my time around them, might as well get paid for it, right?"

   “Shit Ray, I’m sorry.”

   Ray shrugged. “I’m over it now.”

   Ryan could see that was a lie, but he let it pass.

   “What about you? It’s only fair we both participate in deep dark secret telling time,” Ray said.

   Ray knew already. He knew about Ryan’s condition, they all did. They all took extra precautions during the full moon, and even helped him prep.

   “I’m just attracted to violence. Figured the best way to let out all those urges was to get into a business that’s completely violent.”

   “Were you born a werewolf, or did you get bit?” Ray asked. He leaned forward in his chair.

   “Turned.”

   “How do you turn someone into a werewolf?”

   “On the night of a full moon,” Ryan said. He glanced around the room dramatically, then leaned in closer, “You go to a graveyard in New Orleans and find a black rabbit. You catch that rabbit and, using a blade carved from the thigh bone of a virgin, you kill the rabbit-”

   “You’re bullshitting me and I can’t say I appreciate it,” Ray said, crossing his arms and leaning back into his seat.

   Ryan just grinned.

   “Wow I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you smile,” Ray said, raising an eyebrow.

   “Really?”

   “Yeah. I like it, you should do it more. It makes you like 100 percent less creepy,” Ray said.

   “What if I want to be creepy?”

   Ray smiled back, and Ryan felt something flutter in his chest.

   He dismissed it, hoping that it was just the result of a nearly year long dry spell in the sex area, but even after a fling with some random at a bar it persisted.

   It was nearly a week later, post heist, all the guys at the bar. He and Ray were alone again, playing Call Of Duty in the living room. They were sat close together, which was normal and never bothered Ryan before but now he was hyper aware of the heat emanating off Ray’s body, the way Ray’s knee touched his. He felt stupid, being so distracted by just contact, through jeans no less, but lo and behold he was losing PvP mode because of it.

   “Damn,” Ray said as the results popped up on the screen. “You suck more than usual today.”

   Ryan scowled at him. “I just haven’t played in a long time,” Ryan said. “I’m out of practice.”

   “You were just playing last night, asshole.”

   “Yeah on single player.”

   “Stop making excuses and just admit you suck.”

   “I refuse,” Ryan said, crossing his arms.

   Ray laughed, and his knee was pushed closer. Ryan stood suddenly. “I’m going to step out for a smoke.”

   “I’ll join you.”

   “You smoke?”

   “Well,” Ray said, reaching into his hoodie pocket and producing a bag, “Not cigarettes.”

   Geoff had an amazing view from his penthouse. Ryan always took a moment to look over the city while lighting his cigarette. He exhaled the smoke with a sigh.

   He noticed Ray watching him as he took a drag. “Hey,” Ryan said.

   “Hey,” Ray said, turning away immediately.

   They stood in silence. Ryan’s mind was racing. Right now would probably only be his only chance alone with the other for awhile, and he really wanted to just get this out of the way, but he was at a complete loss for words.

   “I, uh,” Ray said suddenly. Ryan looked over at him. “I was wondering if you would be free sometime this week. Preferably Saturday. Or something. Whenever really,” Ray said quickly.

   Ryan raised an eyebrow. “For?”

   Ray went wide eyed. “A date,” he said. “I mean, feel free to say no. I might have misread the situation. I do that a lot.”

   Ryan was startled. For some reason he hadn’t thought Ray would be the one to move things along. “Yeah, I’m free whenever.”

   “Holy shit, really?”

   Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, really.”

~

   Ryan felt weird being back in the penthouse. It wasn’t much different from when he’d left nearly a year ago. They got a new couch, a better TV, but besides that it was the same as the last time he’d been there nearly a year ago.

   Geoff was the only one there when he arrived. It was tense between the two of them, but Geoff was also the most sensible out of them all, excluding Jack. So he was thankful the gent had been the only one there to greet him.

   "Hey, buddy," Geoff said. He smiled, a little sadly though Ryan could understand why.

   "Hey," Ryan said. His smile was real. That eased both their nerves.

   They sat in the conference room. It was quiet for a moment. Geoff was shuffling through a stack of papers and Ryan was unsure of what to say. He had a thousand questions for Geoff, 90% of which he knew he shouldn’t ask.

   “How is everyone?”

   Geoff looked up sharply. “They’re fine.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but wouldn’t let it pass his lips. Jesus, this tension was going to kill him.

   “I’m, uh, sorry about, you know....”

   “You don’t have to apologize, Ryan,” Geoff said softly.

   “Yeah I do. I was being an asshole, especially to you.”

   Geoff looked at his hands, not saying anything, so Ryan continued. “I want to fix things here. I mean, I know things won’t ever be the way they use to, but I’d like to think I’m more mature than I was a year ago. I won’t let my anger get the best of me anymore.”

   Geoff looked up. “Honestly, man? I don’t think I’m the one you should apologize to.”

   Ryan sighed. “I know.”

   Geoff gave him a sorry look before changing the subject.

   When Geoff went into work mode, he didn’t bullshit around. Ryan always appreciated that about him, it made the most tedious part of the heist, explaining it, go faster.

   “So, will you be staying here until the heist?” Geoff asked after a period of silence. “No one's messed with your room or anything. Everything is exactly how you left it.”

   Ryan considered this. He wanted to. He was sick of hotel rooms, and it would be best for the job if everyone was in the same place, not scattered around Los Santos. But would it really be? His one on one with Geoff had been emotionally draining, he couldn’t imagine the whole group, including Ray.

   “I don’t know if that would be a good idea just yet,” he said.

   “f you want I can talk  to the crew about you moving back in? For the heist I mean,” he said. "It really would be easier to have you here..."

   Ryan shrugged. “Sure.”

   Geoff gave him a smile and patted him on the back. “It’s nice to see you again, buddy. We missed you, y’know?”

   Ryan smiled at that. He’d missed the crew too, and found it impossible to not look back. It took a lot of self control to not come back, especially during the first month. It was nice to have them ask him to come back, and fuck if he’d deny that it warmed his heart.

   “It’s nice to be back,” he said.

   “None of have any hard feeling towards you,  you  know.” After a moment he added. “Not even Ray.”

   Ryan nodded. “Yeah, he told me,” Ryan said.

   “He told you?”

   “Yeah, when he called me yesterday. To pitch the job.”

   Geoff raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Weird, I told Jack to call you.”

~

   Ryan remembered their first kiss like it was just yesterday. It was after their first date, a dinner at some three star restaurant on the good side of Los Santos.

   Ryan was dropping Ray off at his apartment. Throughout the whole date they'd been more friendly than romantic, and Ryan would admit to being a little disappointed. He knew real life wasn't like movies, though. First dates were rarely ever what you wanted them to be, he knew that. But he'd known Ray for a year at that point, and their date was more like one of those nights when they were left alone when the guys went out drinking than an actual date.

   "Thanks again, Rye, it was really fun tonight."

   "Yeah it was pretty awesome," Ryan said.

   Ray leaned in slightly towards him, glancing at Ryan's lips. Ryan took the hint and closed the distance between them. He placed his hand on Ray's cheek, fingertips pushing into his hair.

   Ryan's tongue traced over the bottom of Ray's lip, and Ray opened his mouth wider. He tugged at the hair in his grasp, making Ray tilt his head. This new angle made it easier for Ryan to deepen it.

   Ray tugged back after a minute. The moon was large that night, and by the light Ryan could see how blown Ray's pupils were, how flush he was. He swallowed hard.

   “Do you want to go inside?” Ray asked, a little breathless. Ryan’s immediate response was “yes!”, of course, but during the climb upstairs he started to wonder if he should do this. He suddenly remembered the date. It was the night before the full moon, which was why he got lusty faster than normal.

   “If you don’t want to do this we don’t have to,” Ryan said as Ray pulled him into his apartment. His hands slid over the waistband of Ryan's jeans, fingers hovering over the button.

   “What?” Ray asked.

   “It’s just, you know, I get a little weird during this time of month and I don’t want to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

   Ray scowled. “I’m not a teenager, Ryan. Making out with me for a minute won't turn me into some mindless sex fiend.” He undid the button to Ryan's jeans then sunk easily to his knees. "I'm a consenting adult who'd really like to blow you right now."

   “Can’t say I can argue with that,” Ryan gasped.

   Ray tugged  Ryan's jeans down just low enough to release his cock. “I appreciate the concern though.”

   When he woke up in Ray’s bed the next day, tangled in the sheets with Ray curled into his side, he felt blissful. Ray looked peaceful asleep beside him, all long eyelashes and sparse facial hair. He had a bruise on his collarbone, and another one a few inches lower. He felt a streak of possessiveness at the sight, and that was what reminded him of the date.

   He sat up and started retracing his steps to gather his clothes. It didn't take long. Once he'd gathered everything he carried them back to Ray's room and sat on the edge of the bed to pull them on. Ray woke up then and sat up. 

   “Hey,” he said. His voice, gruff with sleep, made Ryan’s heart lunge.

   “Hey,” Ryan said. He turned around to kiss him, gentle and slow. He pulled away before it could go any further.

   Ray relaxed back into the pillows. “Where’re you going?” he asked.

   “Home. Tonight's a full moon.”

   “Oh. How do you like, prepare?” Ray asked. “Like, you know, what do you do to get ready?”

   Ryan shrugged. “I usually lock myself in a room and wait it out.”

   “Geoff has a bunker a ways out of town. It’s locked from the outside, and sound proof and everything. We use it for interrogation.”

   That sounded perfect. “He does?”

   “Yeah. Do you want to hole up there for the night?” After a moment, “I can show you the way.”

   “I would like that,” Ryan said, smiling.

~

   Ryan holed up in his hotel room and started making orders to his gun dealers. He'd lost contact with the majority of his suppliers when he left Los Santos, and now that he was back he needed to get them back. It wasn't a difficult process, surprisingly. People would do anything for money, and apparently the Vagabond's notoriety hadn't waned in his year off.

   Geoff texted him at 7pm on the dot. ‘I talked to the guys. No one has any objections to you moving back in.’ Minutes later ‘Ray said he doesn’t mind.’

   Ryan let out a breath of air. ‘Okay.’

   ‘So you’re staying here?’

   ‘Yeah.’

   The moving in process was easy. All of Ryan’s worldly possessions were contained in a small bag so all he had to do was shove his phone and charger in and he was fully packed and ready to move.

   Geoff answered the door again. He grinned a relieved smile upon seeing him. "Hey guys, look who's decided to drop in."

   The room fell silent when they noticed his presence. He forced a smile and waved, trying his best to look friendly.

   “Hey,” he said.

   Gavin was the first to greet him. “Rye-bread!” he said with a grin. He hugged Ryan close, and when he pulled back the lad was still smiling.

  “Hey Gav,” he said, a genuine smile on his face.

   The tension seemed to break then, and everybody relaxed. They all greeted him, welcoming him back to the team. It went a lot better than he was expecting it to go. He didn't see Ray in the room, to his relief.

   After that he made his way to his room. It really was the same that he’d left it, if dustier. There was a hole in the wall about fist size, and the sheets were messy and strewn around the room. The knife he’d thrown into the wall was still lodged in, somehow. He grabbed the handle to try to jiggle it out but it was lodged firmly in the drywall. He decided that was a battle for another day.

   He tossed his bag onto the floor and started unpacking. He had a few clothes still in his closet, and random assorted crap in his nightstand. When he finished unpacking he trifled through it. There wasn’t much in there; a bottle of sleeping meds, a couple scattered condoms, a spare phone charger, tissues, a book he only had a couple pages left in. He gathered the sheets and carried them to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, then made up his bed. He also wrote for a drywall patch kit on the grocery list in the kitchen. He made a mental note to also buy it himself because, if things were still like they use to be, no one ever got anything off the grocery list.

   He headed back to his room before pausing. Right across the way was Ray’s room, he remembered. Suddenly he felt overwhelmed. He hadn’t seen Ray in a year and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to yet, frankly. He still loved Ray, he’d long come to terms with that, and the terms they’d left on had made it hard for him to start the healing process. Ray was strong, but he was also the type to just suppress everything instead of actually dealing with it so Ryan couldn’t be sure of Ray’s state.

   He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling for awhile. Despite everything, it was surreal to be back in his room again. The last year had been a haze of hotel rooms and long stretches of road, and it was nice to be rooted, finally. He was hoping everything worked out well so he could stay, because he certainly wanted to.

   He wasn’t sure how long he’d be lying there, but eventually he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

   “Come in,” he called.

    The door opened slowly and Geoff stepped in. “Dinner's ready,” he said. “Wow.” Geoff looked around the room curiously. “You really fucked this place up, huh?” He touched a hole in the wall. “Is this from today or...?”

   “No, it’s from before.”

   “There goes the security deposit."

   "The security deposit was gone when Michael blew up the bathroom," Ryan said, and Geoff pursed his lips in thought.

   "Touche. Is that a knife?"

   Ryan shrugged, and Geoff just shook his head. Ryan followed him out to the kitchen area.

   They use to eat dinner together, Ryan thought. They were all scattered around the apartment, with Michael in the living room, Gavin exiting down the hall to the computer room, and Jack and Ray nowhere to be seen. He wondered when this had started, and feared the very high possibility that it was his departure that did it.

   He joined Michael in the living room, but didn’t necessarily start conversation. Michael had some movie playing on the TV but wasn’t paying it much mind as he scrolled through something on his phone. He considered starting a conversation, but decided against it. Michael hadn’t looked too enthralled by his arrival, and he tended to carry grudges pretty hard. Especially when those grudges were against people who had abandoned him and his friends. Best not to set him off.

   He ate in silence, watching the movie. When he was done he moved to get up, but Michael stopped him.

   “Hey,” he said, then paused the movie. Ryan looked at him, preparing for whatever came.

   “Yeah?”

   Michael sighed. “Sit down, let’s have a little heart to heart.”

   Ryan set his dish on the table and sat. “Okay.”

   He scratched his neck awkwardly. “That shit you pulled before you left, why’d you do that? I mean, I can’t imagine it was just stress or whatever, you’re a pretty level headed guy. Was it your… condition?”

   Ryan was caught a little off guard. “Kind of. That’s what happens when I lose control. Usually I’m able to keep all that stuff in, you know, but with everything that was happening, the big heist we were planning and moving into the penthouse and whatnot, it made it harder to keep all that under wraps.”

   Michael frowned. “Is that going to happen again?”

   Oh. “No, no. I’m better at controlling myself now. I mean, during full moons I’m still completely out of control but, like, right now I’m fine.”

   “You know we’re friends Ryan. I forgive you for all the crap you started, because I knew it wasn’t really you. But if that happens again, if you actually try to hurt one of us...” Michael trailed off, but he understood.

   “Just in case, invest in silver bullets. Normals ones would just slow me down.”

   Michael nodded. “Just, try to keep yourself in a good place, 'kay?” He patted Ryan's knee before unpausing the movie and focusing his attention back on that.

   He slept surprisingly well that night. Despite the tumult and obvious tension in the house, Ryan still felt sound in his room. If he pretended hard enough, and didn’t stare at the holes, it was just like a couple years ago, before everything happened and they were just a crew again, all friends, who ate dinner at the same table and didn’t have to feel the need to discuss the fact that they’d kill one another without hesitation if the situation demanded it.

   He woke up fairly late into the morning and dressed. He didn’t want to sit around all day so he decided to go shopping, get the drywall and fix those holes so he didn’t have to keep staring at them.

   Geoff was the only person in the kitchen when he came out. He was leaned over the counter preparing a mug of coffee.

   “Morning,” Ryan said. He was pleased to find his favorite mug, the metal one he’d lifted when they broke Geoff out of prison almost two years ago, was still there.

   “Morning,” Geoff said. “No one else is awake and Jack forbade me from using the stove so if you’re hungry you have to make your own breakfast. Also all we have is generic pop tarts anyways.”

   “No thanks.” After a moment he added. “I’ll go shopping. If you want anything, write it on the list.”

   “The pop tarts aren’t that bad,” Geoff said. “I mean, they’re pretty chintzy on the frosting but they’re okay.”

   “That’s not why I’m going shopping,” he said. “I need to fix those holes in the wall.”

   “Oh okay.” Geoff pulled the list from the fridge and wrote a couple items down before handing it to him. “Buy stuff I can make in the microwave. The greasier the better.”

   All Geoff had written was ‘junk food and booze.’ He vaguely recalled Geoff getting mad at Gavin when the lad called him predictable awhile back. “Okay. Do you think anyone else wants anything?”

   “No. If they want something they should have written it on the list.”

   Ryan shrugged. “I’ll leave after a cup of coffee.”

   Geoff nodded. “Oh, meeting at 8pm in the conference room about the heist. It’s mandatory.”

   Geoff grabbed his mug and moved to the living room.

   Ryan found himself watching the hallway anxiously. He still hadn’t seen Ray, and the anticipation was brutal. Ray was a recluse anyways. Even when they were together they spent more time holed up in his room than mingling with the others, so he shouldn’t read too much on it now. But he couldn’t help but think his arrival made it easier for Ray to stay in. Ryan wondered if he even ate dinner that night, and he felt his protective streak worry for him.

   He quickly finished his coffee.

   “Is my car still in the garage.”

   “Yeah. Key’s are in the bowl by the door.”

   Ryan was excited to see his car again. It’d cost him 1.6 million dollars, and there was several times he’d considered going back for it, just so all that money didn’t go to waste. There was nothing like driving irresponsibly fast to help his forget about the things on his mind.

   It was still in beautiful shape, nice and clean with a full tank of gas. He smiled as he climbed behind it. This car held a lot of memories; Gavin had almost bled out in the back seat one time, Michael once dented the hood after accidentally colliding with him in his own gaudy chrome car. It was a getaway vehicle countless times, and the trunk had probably held more cash collectively than some small countries.

   It took him a minute to readjust to the super car. He’d spent so long driving whatever car he could get, mostly shitty SUVs and pickup trucks, that this was almost foreign to him. However, it didn't take him too long. It was like riding a bike. A $1.6 mile bike that could go over 200 miles per hour.

   He reached the grocery center in a short time, despite the traffic. He was surprised to learn that he remembered all the shortcuts and fastest routes to take to get to the place.

   Grocery shopping was always fairly mind numbing to him. He gathered everything he could on the list and checked out as fast as he could. The liquor store Geoff wrote on the list was nearby so he left his car in the lot and just walked, to avoid the traffic.

   He made sure he had his ID, checked what the name was on the ID, and gathered the goods. it didn't take long, Geoff was a simple man when it came to booze.

   He took the elevator upstairs. He struggled with the door, trying to use a key with a row of grocery bags strung on his arm proved to be a difficult feat. Once he got in he dropped them by the door.

   Michael, Jack, and Gavin all turned to look at him.

   “You went grocery shopping?” Jack asked.

   “Yeah. I needed some things, figured I’d pick up some food. Geoff wanted booze,” he shrugged a little awkwardly.

   Gavin was the first one to get up. He grabbed a couple and carried them to the counter, then started sifting though. “What’d you get?”

   “Everything on the list,” he said.

   They started to put the groceries away. They talked idly, a little awkwardly as they did so. Gavin carried the conversation, per usual. He was always the chattiest in the group, since he hated awkward silence.

   When Ray walked in, though, the room went dead silent. Ryan had to make an effort to not stare at him, to be casual. He focused on stacking Geoff’s microwaveable meals in the freezer.

   Ray seemed to not have the same plan as him. In his peripherals he could see the lad standing stock still against the counter, watching him.

   Gavin cleared his throat. “How many of these did you buy?” Gavin asked as he handed Ryan the remainder of the microwavable meals.

   “20?” Ryan said. “Geoff told me he wasn’t allowed to use the stove so...”

   “Yeah. He almost burned the bloody building down a few months ago. Wasn’t even drunk when he did it, surprisingly,” Gavin said.

   Ryan saw Ray continue his walk to the living room. He took a deep breath and continued to stock the fridge.

   “Hey Ryan, you keep up with Game of Thrones while you were away?” Michael asked.

   “I tried. I’m only a few episodes behind though. Hotel WiFi isn’t that reliable.”

   “Dude, new episode tonight, you better catch up! How many episodes behind are you?”

   “Two.”

   “We have a meeting tonight, you won’t be able to watch it live anyways,” Gavin said.

   “What the fuck, I told Geoff to schedule around our shows,” Michael said.

   Ryan chuckled and closed the freezer, then turned to the counter.

   He saw Ray sitting in the love seat. When Ryan looked up his eyes quickly darted away. Ryan didn’t miss that.

   He sighed and looked back down. “Where’s Jack?” he asked.

   “Her and Geoff went out for coffee. It’s their date night tonight, but because of the meeting they're having a date afternoon,” Gavin said.

   “They’re dating?”

   “Oh, yeah, you weren’t around when that happened,” Gavin said. “Well, Geoff and Jack are dating now.”

   “Oh...” he said dumbly. "What else did I miss while I was away."

   Gavin shrugged. "I dunno. I got my wisdom teeth out. Not much else."

   They finished up in the kitchen. Michael and Gavin disappeared down the hall and Ryan stepped out on the balcony for a smoke. He was startled when he heard the screen open behind him.

   “Hey.”

   He swallowed hard before replying. “Hey.”

   “Can I bum one from you?” Ray asked, pointing to the pack in his hand.

   “You smoke?” he asked.

   “A lot of things change in a year,” he said. Ryan noticed the accusatory tone.

   Ryan handed him one wordlessly. He pulled a lighter out of his hoodie pocket and lit it.

   They were silent, both of them unsure of what to say. Ryan stared down at the city below, at the people on the streets, at the cars driving by.

   “Why did you leave?” Ray asked. "Was it just because of me or...?"

   That caught Ryan off guard. He flicked the ashes off the edge before replying. "A lot of reasons. You were one of them, but not the only one. I'm a different person now, thought. I changed, for the better."

   “You traveled the world and found yourself, right?”

   Ryan was surprised at the humor in Ray’s tone. He smiled. “Well, I learned how to not be an asshole.”

   Ray didn’t reply for a moment. “I don’t think it was you being an asshole.”

   “Michael said the same thing, kind of. I don’t see the point in separating myself from the wolf, though. I feel like I should own up to my actions.”

   “But when you do that you do stupid shit like run off for a year and abandon your friends,” Ray said. There was a bitterness in his tone, and it made Ryan flinch.

   Ryan looked away shamefully. “I’ll admit that I overreacted, but I think I did the right thing.”

   “You know I blamed myself for that, right? I blamed myself for your breakdown,” Ray said quickly.

   Ryan flinched at the increasing anger in his tone. “It wasn’t-”

   “Don’t. Everyone has said the same thing ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ I know, that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty.”

   “I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything. I really am.”

   Ray shook his head. “I missed you, Ryan. Everyone did. For a year you disappeared, didn’t say a damn word to anybody. I want to forgive you, and I’m a fucking idiot so I probably will, but I think it’ll take more than a word to fix everything you’ve done.”

   Ryan sighed, but didn’t reply.

   “I’m sure you’ve noticed how everything's changed around here by now. We barely talk to each other anymore when we're not doing a heist. There's actually been talk of breaking up the crew lately."

   Ryan nodded. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Ray. I’m not magic, I can’t just tell everyone to be a big, domestic family again.”

   “I mean you can, technically, but if wouldn’t do much,” Ray said.

   Ryan chuckled and looked away. He took one last drag of his cigarette and snuffed it out in the ashtray. “I’m trying to fix things here. Things will never be the way they were, and God I want them to be but it’s just not possible. But I’m trying,” Ryan said.

   Ray nodded. “For the record,” Ray said, “I cried like a bitch when you left.”

   "So did I," Ryan replied before  heading back into the penthouse.

~

   Ryan preferred the empty bunker to just letting himself destroy every pulse in sight every full moon. It was cleaner, and left him with less on his mind the next day.

   He woke up to a beam of light hitting his body. He squinted at Ray’s silhouette and waved weakly. He sat up as Ray approached him. His body ached everywhere, per usual. It took him a moment of bracing before he was able to pull himself to his feet.

   “How do you feel?” Ray asked.

   “Better than I usually feel these mornings.”

   Ray smiled and Ryan couldn’t help but smile back. He leaned in, carefully, and placed a kiss on his lips. “You’re incredible,” he said.

   “I know.”

   The door was covered in long deep scratches from floor to ceiling. Ray ran a finger over them slowly. “Wow,” he muttered. “That’s scary as fuck.”

   Ryan felt a bolt of panic race through him. He never really talked about his werewolf-ism with Ray, and this was as close as he could get to the wolf without actually seeing it. There was a plethora of ways Ray could react to this, and not all of them were good.  “Yeah?” he asked.

   “So like, what does the werewolf look like? Is it like, stereotypical anthropomorphic wolf or is it more Twilight?”

   Ryan raised an eyebrow. “A mixture of both. It’s like if you put a wolf on a bunch of steroids.”

   Ray was quiet for a moment as he imagined that. He let his eyes slide up to the roof, right where the last mark stopped. “It must be pretty tall, too.”

   “Or I jumped.”

   Ray scowled. “Well,  these’ll  scare the shit out of anyone who comes in here after today,” he said.

   “Will Geoff get mad that I fucked up his bunker?”

   “He won’t give a shit. Probably won’t even notice it for a while anyways. Like I said, we hardly use this place.”

   Ray stepped away from the wall and headed out the door. It was a nice day that day, with the sun partially blotted out from the clouds and a warm breeze blowing through. Ryan took a deep breath and it out with a sigh. It was nice to not be horribly nauseous, or covered in a stranger's blood. He was still sore, though, but still not as bad as usual.

   Ray climbed on his bike and patted the seat behind him. “Hop on,” he said.

   Ryan chuckled, but climbed on and wrapped his arms around Ray.

~

   Ryan felt better after talking to Ray. All things considered, it had been a good talk, and he felt like they were past the awkward unsure phase.

   At 8pm sharp Geoff called everyone to the conference room. It was a soundproof room, teched out with data scramblers and other various things to keep this room as secure as possible. The table was a large white one, round, with hard wooden chairs. As everyone filed in, Ryan noticed they sat in the same places he remembered; Geoff near the front by the white board and Jack right beside him on his right, Michael to Geoff's left and Gavin right beside him, Ray one seat down from Jack's right. This left Ryan's usual seat adjacent to Geoff, on Ray's right, open. He wasn't sure why he retained this useless bit of information, but it made him feel better to know that not everything had changed.

   Then was the time for Geoff to explain the heist, and for anyone who thought they had any improvements to speak up and suggest them. Jack was mostly the one who spoke, but everyone pitched in their ideas.

   When it was finally over Ryan was happy. The day was a long one, and he was anxious to get back into bed. He was half asleep when his phone buzzed on his nightstand. He sighed and grabbed it.

   ‘Cum outside pls.’ Ray?

   ‘Are you high?’

   ‘Sober as a funeral. Just come out, pls?’

   He buried his face in the pillow and sighed before getting up. God knew what Ray wanted from him, and he was ready to end the day, but that wasn’t going to happen, apparently.

   ‘Get dressed.’

   ‘Why?’

   ‘Just do it.’

   He sighed and pulled on the first shirt and jeans he saw, then headed out.

   ‘Outside outside or the balcony?’

   ‘Outside outside. The front f the building.’

   ‘On my way.’

   The front of the building was dim. Ray was stood on the curb in front of one of Geoff’s cars. He was dressed in all black with a grin on his face.

   “What’d you drag me out of bed for?” he asked.

   “Well, see, I was thinking, hmm, we worked well together before everything happened. This heist coming up could really benefit from our team work skills so I concocted a plan to hit a convenience store,” Ray said. “I also got these really creepy masks from the Halloween store I’ve been wanting to use on a job, but Geoff keeps saying no.”

   Ray opened the trunk and tossed him a rubber mask. It was some hyper realistic baby mask, and Ryan was so startled by it he almost dropped it.

   “Am I allowed to say no, too?” he asked, flipping it upside down so he didn't have to see the face.

   “Nope.”

   Ryan scowled, then tucked the mask inside his jacket.

   Ryan drove in silence while Ray rattled off directions, and his plan. It was easy enough, just an all night gas station a ways down the road. Ryan was happy to be on the job again. He hadn’t done anything worse than car theiving in awhile, and it was nice to stretch his legs again.

   They stopped at the gas station and Ray moved to the trunk and tossed him a pistol. He clicked the safety off and tucked it into his jacket. Ray glanced around the parking lot. There were a few cars sitting at the gas pumps, but not much else besides that.

   “All clear," Ray said. "Ready?”

   “Yep,” Ryan said, and they pulled on the masks. “That’s terrifying.”

   Ray laughed. “That’s the point,” he said. "No one wants to fuck with a guy in a baby mask."

   Ryan shook his head, laughing. "Let's go."

   They burst into the store and pulled their weapons. It was all muscle memory for them, as they'd done this many times before. Ray yelled "Put all the cash in the bag!" and threw the duffel at him, and Ryan fired one shot just to his right to get him to go faster.

   Ryan searched around the place for any innocents. The place was empty, thankfully, and he managed to grab a few things for himself and stuff them into his bag while Ray handled the cashier.

   “Anyone?” Ray asked.

   “We're good," Ryan said as he joined Ray at the desk again.

   “Hey, grab me a bag of Doritos,” Ray said, gesturing to one of the aisles.

   “Already did,” Ryan said, pulling them out of his bag to show him.

   He couldn’t see Ray’s face but he knew the other was grinning behind the mask. “Show off,” he muttered, looking away from him. 

   The cashier shoved the last dollar into the bag and held it out. Ray grabbed it and Ryan raised his gun to put a bullet in his brain. Once they were done, they ran out and into the car. Ray tossed the cash into the back and climbed in as Ryan started the car.

   A year and a half ago Ray would have grabbed his hand and held it between them. He would have laughed and recounted the job, and when they got home he would have led Ryan to their bed by the hand and they would screw until the sun rose, then they would have fallen slept late into the day.

   But that’s not how it was anymore. Ray was in the passenger seat, eating the Doritos quietly and staring out the window.

   “We still got it,” he said.

   Ryan chuckled. “We do.” He was quiet for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Do you think Geoff will ever even put us together again though?”

   Ray scoffed. “Maybe. If we can show we’re still friends.”

   “But you know how Geoff is. Remember when he stopped teaming Michael and Gavin together after they got in a fist fight over Super Smash Brothers. They didn’t work together for nearly a year. That was pretty different from our fall out.”

   Ray shrugged. “True. They also aren’t as good together as we were. Are.”

   Ryan glanced at him. He was staring blankly at Ryan’s hand, and for a moment, a fraction of a second, Ryan loosened his grip on the wheel to reach for Ray’s hand.

~

   They had dinner at some 24 hour diner that morning. The sun was still rising in the sky, and Ray was obviously drowsy, having not been use to waking up so early. Ryan apologized by paying, and Ray didn’t try to stop him.

   It was a slow day. Geoff, bless him, made sure to schedule around the full moon, so he had the day to lay around and let his body heal. Ray had convinced him to come back to his apartment and take a nap, so he did so. They ended up just laying in bed and talking more than actually napping, but neither complained.

   “So, like, these bruises are normal then?” Ray asked as he traced over a dark one on Ryan’s side. His gentle touch sent shivers up Ryan's spine .

   “Yeah. They go away pretty fast if you’re grossed out by them,” Ryan said.

   “Only a little bit,” he said.

   “Oh, thanks,” Ryan said.

   Ray chuckled and leaned up to kiss Ryan. "You know I don't give a shit."

   They fell into silence. It was comfortable, both dozing off. It was a cloudy day, and the sunlight filtering through Ray’s blinds was dim and relaxing. It wasn’t long before they were both out. They slept for nearly an hour, and only awoke to Ray’s personal phone ringing. They both jerked awake, startled, and Ray leaned over Ryan to grab it off the nightstand.

   “Hello?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

   “Hey Ray, sorry to wake you. I was just wondering if you’d be able to come in later today? Around 6pm?”

   “Uhh, sure. What’s up? I thought you cleared the schedule today...”

   “Yeah, sorry. Something came up that needs our immediate attention. Nothing too serious, just something we need to take care of immediately.”

   “Oh, okay. Yeah, I can be in at 6.”

   “Okay, awesome. Thanks. See you then.”

   “Bye, Geoff.” He set his phone back down on the nightstand and turned to Ryan. “You’ll probably get a call soon.”

   Ryan nodded. Ray laid back down beside him. His hand found Ryan’s between them. Ryan squeezed gently, and they both fell back into silence.

   Ryan closed his eyes and started drifting away again. Ray was already gone, and he was eager to follow. His phone, in his pants abandoned on the ground, vibrated, and he woke up suddenly. He sighed and sat up, letting go of Ray’s hand.

   “Hey Rye, how’re you feeling?” Geoff asked.

   “I’m alright. Just a little tired.”

   “Did everything go well last night? I was watching the news, didn’t see anything about, you know, gruesome murders.”

   “Yeah, Ray locked me in your interrogation bunker overnight.”

   There was a moment of silence. “Like, against your will or?”

   “Yeah. I asked him not to but he just said it was for my own good.”

   “No I didn’t, shut the fuck up,” Ray said loud enough for Geoff to hear. Ryan sniggered.

   “Ray? Where are you?”

   “I’m at Ray’s house. He picked me up from the bunker earlier.”

   “Oh. So you probably know what’s happening then?”

   “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

   “If you aren’t feeling good you can stay home. I can have someone text you what you need to know if you want.”

   “I’ll be fine Geoff. And I’ll be there at 6, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

   Geoff sighed and relented but Ryan couldn't help but smile at Geoff’s worry. It was nice having someone care about him.

~

   Ryan had a restless sleep. He kept dreaming of skin and fingers touching his cheek, lips on his neck. He jerked awake uncomfortably hard and took a cold shower. Jack was the only one in the living room when he walked in.

   “Morning Ryan,” she said.

   “Morning,” he said. He moved to the cupboard and made himself a glass of coffee. Geoff was the next one in.

   “Where did you and Ray go last night?” he asked, and Ryan almost flinched at how fast Jack’s eyes went to him.

   “We held up a convenience store.”

   “How’d it go?”

   “Well, I’m $150 richer and I’m not in prison.”

   “Only $150?”

   Ryan shrugged. “Slow day.”

   “So, are you guys friendly again?” Jack asked, almost hesitantly.

   Ryan shrugged. “Well, we’re not hiding from each other anymore.”

   “That’s good. Or better, at least.”

   “Speak of the devil,” Geoff said, and everyone looked over to see Ray walk in.

   “You guys talking shit?” Ray asked as he moved past Ryan to get to the coffee machine.

   “Not any more,” Geoff said, and Ray raised an eyebrow at him.

   “You assholes drank all the coffee,” he complained.

   Ryan caught himself watching Ray. His dreams last night were vivid, and he woke up so frustrated and horny. Seeing Ray in the flesh, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, drove him wild.

   He turned away and took a sip of the coffee. It was cold already, and he sighed.

   Geoff and Jack left for work, but Gavin assured the others that they were going out for another date once they were out the door.

   Gavin and Michael kept to themselves. They were playing some game on their DS’s. Ray played for awhile but eventually quit after an hour or so. Ryan was contemplating retreating back to his room; he couldn’t hear the TV over Gavin and Michael’s bickering anyways. He didn’t feel like being cooped up in his room all day though. He stood and headed to the balcony for a smoke.

   The air was cold and chilly. He pulled his jacket closer to himself. Despite the cold, he loved the later months. He liked the cozy feeling of clouds blotting the sun, the cleansing of rain. He watched the drops fall slowly as he smoked.

   It wasn’t long before the door slid open and Ray stepped out. He sat in the lawn chair and pulled out his own pack.

   “When did you start smoking?” Ryan asked after a few moments of silence.

   “Not too long after you left.”

   Ryan glanced over at him. “Oh.”

   There was a long period of silence, until Ray mercifully broke it. “Do you want to hit another convenience store tonight?”

   “Sure. Do you have another set of creepy masks you want to try out or something?”

   “No. Let’s do it in full heist gear, scare the shit out of some poor clerk.”

   “Do people even remember the Vagabond anymore?” Ryan asked.

   “Hell yeah dude. Your absence just made the cops more paranoid.”

   Ryan smiled at that. “So I’m going to make my grand debut back in Los Santos by hitting up a gas station?”

   “Sure, why not?”

   “I mean, I’m game, but what’ll it look like on my rep? I feel like I should do something more extravagant.”

   “Gas stations are extravagant.”

   “Are they?” Ryan looked over and raised an eyebrow.

   “Yeah, man.”

   Ryan shrugged and took a final drag from his cigarette. “When do you want to head out?”

   “I don’t care. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow so maybe before sundown?”

   “Sure. I’m ready whenever.”

   Ray grinned and snuffed out the remainder of his cigarette in the ashtray. “Be ready at 7pm sharp.”

   Ryan felt a sense of relief as he donned the Vagabond clothes again. It wasn’t all of it, he left out the bulletproof vest and the heavy artillery. But even just the basics; shirt, jacket, jeans, and boots, was enough. He tucked the mask in his jacket and met Ray in the living room.

   He was sprawled on the couch when Ryan walked in. He sat up upon hearing his footsteps, then grinned. “Ready?”

   This time was much like the last, except Ryan felt more jittery this time. He was excited, happy to be back in uniform, happy for the nostalgia of it all.

   There was people this time. Ray took crowd control while Ryan handled the register. The guy was smart. He didn’t say a word, only piled the money into the bag as fast as he could. Ryan almost felt bad when he shot him but at this point it would almost be suspicious if he didn’t.

   “You done?” Ray asked, and Ryan nodded. They exited the building and ran for the car. Ryan could already hear sirens in the distance. “Fuck, one of ‘em called the cops,” Ray cursed.

   Ryan was quick to calculate his options, but there was only one plausible option right now.

   He hadn’t had a good car chase in far too long. They were underdressed and under armed for one at the moment, but Ray was a sure shot with any gun, and Ryan was one of the best getaway drivers on the team.

   “Buckle up,” Ryan said.

   “Head to Chiliad. Take the long way,” Ray said. “There’s construction work on 5th avenue so bank on 7th.”

   Ryan nodded curtly, then glanced up at the rearview mirror. “How many?”

   “Five. Must’ve recognized us,” Ray said, and Ryan grinned.

   “Think you can get some of them off our tail?”

   “With these guns? Maybe if you’ve got a rocket launcher somewhere in here,” Ray said.

   “I’ve seen you take out helicopters with handguns,” Ryan said.

   “That was one time!” Ray huffed, but he took the gun Ryan offered and opened the sun roof. “You owe me.”

   “Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy it.”

   Ray hummed an affirmative. Ryan watched the rearview mirror in time to see the windshield of the nearest car shatter, and the car swerve slightly and slam into a storefront.

   “Damn dude!  D’you  see that!” Ray cheered.

   “Brace yourself,” Ryan said and Ray fell into his seat just as he took a series of sharp turns.

   “Chopper,” Ray said.

   “Close?”

   “No, we should be fine,” Ray said. They lost the cops, but it wouldn’t be too long before they found them again. The road to Chiliad was a long windy road, and hard to keep low on. If he couldn’t lose them before then he would have to find another route.

   “Hang left up here,” Ray said, and Ryan obeyed.

   “I can’t hear sirens.”

   “We must’ve lost them,” Ray said. “I see the chopper though. It’s getting closer to us. Once we get on the road to Chiliad we should lose it.”

   It was nearly 30 minutes before they reached Chiliad. The car was quiet now, the adrenaline dying down. Ray was counting the money, occasionally glancing up through the sunroof to track the chopper. They couldn’t see it, not this far from the city.

   “$246 and 98 cents,” Ray declared. “Two dollars are entirely in pennies.”

   “That’s it. Fuck, I probably spent more than that on gas getting away from them,” Ryan said.

   “It’s not about the money, Rye, it’s the journey. What’s that one Miley Cyrus song?”

   Ryan chuckled and shook his head. He parked the car in front of the hideout and Ray climbed out to unlock the garage and let Ryan in. He watched the other in the beam of the headlights. Ray was a slight figure, and the way he dressed in his loose hoodie and jeans made him seem smaller than he really way. Ryan knew why. Ray liked to be on the sidelines, on top of buildings peering through a scope, hidden in the shadows. he never cared for being the center of attention, and preferred invisibility. The smaller he could make himself seem, the better, in his mind.

   The panel flashed green and Ray pulled the door up. It was a rickety old garage with an expensive security system. Inside were two TV civilian cars and room to park up to four getaway cars. A door to the left led to a small room where they could hide out if need be, stocked with ammo and a few cheap guns.

   Ray waved his hand and Ryan pulled into the garage. When the car was parked safely against the back wall he climbed out and joined Ray.

   “What car should we choose? Shitty Suburban number one or shitty Suburban number two.”

   “I don’t know, I’m kind of into the sparkly purple paint job on that one.”

   “It’s not purple, Ryan, it’s maroon,” Ray said. He moved to get into the passenger seat of the maroon vehicle.

   It was a dumb joke, but for a split second Ryan forgot everything that happened. For a split second it felt like a year ago again, and everything was okay again.

   He felt a nostalgic ache as he climbed in the driver's seat and avoided looking at Ray until the ache wore off.

 

 


	2. Bad Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! With 100% more action, angst, and happy ending! Please read the notes for trigger warnings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [SPOILERS] _**Trigger warnings for this chapter** \-- assumed character death, thoughts of suicide, vague sexual scenes._
> 
>  
> 
> Alright! Final chapter! I really hope you guys enjoyed this, as it was fun for me to write.

   Ryan had done extensive reading on werewolves in his time. He found a lot of chat rooms, Wiki articles and stuff through Google telling him people’s personal experience with lycanthropy and the sort.

  It was through a WikiHow article that he learned he could control the shift. It was still impossible to stay human during a full moon, and mood swings could be helped but not avoided completely, but he learned that it was possible to make it so he could shift on command, and stay himself emotionally (for the most part.) He could see how that could be useful, on heists and whatnot, but the process looked risky, and he couldn’t imagine having enough willpower to control himself once he shifted. He wanted to try, still, but under set conditions where no one could get hurt.

    He considered bringing the topic up to one of the guys, but every time he mentioned his condition they got really awkward about it. They treated it like some weird sex disease, which Ryan found funny but inconvenient.

  He dropped the subject, forgetting it mostly. There was bigger things in his life, and it was easy for it to fall under the rug.

 

 

   It was nearly a month into their relationship that they did another heist. It was on some bank in town, one the crew had hit many times before. They were doing it around evening, a few hours before closing time. They usually did it during the day, as it was easier and the police force was a little more tied up, but some guy got busted for narcotics a block away so they postponed a few hours just to be safe.

  Come 7pm, Michael, Gavin, and Ray were already at the scene, scoping the area out while Gavin got into the security system. Jack, Geoff, and Ryan were a few miles away in a black van getting ready, waiting for the clear signal.

  During heists Ryan worried a normal amount. He cared about the crew, and everyone in it, and it was normal to worry about them. He never thought twice of it, just accepted the bond formed between him and the others.

  This time was different though. He was jittery and stressed about Ray. He knew Ray would be fine, they were just on watch duty, but a million scenarios where they weren’t fine were playing though his mind.

  "All clear," Michael said.

  “Countdown to heist,” Geoff said into the comm. He looked down at his watch. “10 minutes. You assholes better be ready.”

  Jack climbed up to the front of the van. It growled to life. The engine made a rattling noise as they drove.

  After the heist, when they met up at rendezvous, Ryan felt an immense wave of relief wash over him as he saw Ray. He moved to the lad and held his hand as his nerves settled.

  He brushed the protectiveness was a side effect of the werewolf-ism, and if that would wear off over time. He hadn't done anything more than bar hook ups in a long while, and it was very possible he was just relearning how everything worked.

  However, as time wore on it started to extend towards the whole crew. Besides Ray, Ryan was closest to Gavin. And when Gavin left to visit his parents in England Ryan found himself worrying over every small detail. When Gavin returned Ryan spent the entire evening on the couch with him playing video games, happy to be back in his presence.

  A few days after that Michael decided to try out boxing again. He’d done underground stuff before he joined the crew and hadn’t done much since, and he was curious to see if he was still any good, several years later. The whole crew attended his match, sitting ringside all together to cheer him on. Geoff even placed bets on him.

  Ryan didn’t cheer. Every hit to Michael was like a hit to himself, and he found himself imagining gruesome ways to gut the opponent. When the match was over, and Michael came out victorious, him and Jack were the ones who patched him up.

  It was during a heist gone wrong that he discovered the protective streak for Geoff and Jack. They both had a protective streak a mile wide so Ryan knew it wouldn't be long before he discovered that.

  Michael’s position was compromised and about eight men ganged up against him. Geoff and Jack blew their own cover as a distraction, but this only drew out more men and turned into a firefight. Ray, Gavin, and Ryan were hidden a few rooms away, protecting Gavin as he hacked the mainframe. Between their position and Michael's, Geoff's, and Jack's was two or three police cruisers.

  Realistically, they new the three could handle themselves. But Ryan was panicking, and he couldn't just sit on his hands and leave the three alone.

  “I’m going out,” Ryan said.

  “What?” they both said almost simultaneously.

  “Everything’s fine here, they need help. I’m going,” Ryan nearly growled.

  “They can handle it,” Ray said, grabbing Ryan’s arm.

  Ryan felt torn. Ray and Gavin looked startled, worried for him. Ray's grip on his arm tightened, a reassuring squeeze as much as it was something to keep him there. "They're fine," he said again.

  And they were fine. They escaped the gang and the police, retreating back to their base with a duffel full of cash and stolen goods. But Ray kept giving Ryan a concerned, confused look.

  Afterwards, when they were back safe at Ryan's apartment, he pulled Ray aside and confessed what’d been happening.

  “Do you think it’s from the werewolf?” Ray asked.

  “I’m sure it is. I’m just not sure what to do about it,” Ryan said.

  Ray looked thoughtful. “I mean, it’s not such a bad thing,” Ray said. “I mean, it’s nice that you’re protective over us. Gay, but nice. You’re like a watch dog.”

  Ryan smiled and shook his head. “If I’m acting stupid because of it, like I did today, it’s a bad thing.”

  Ray shrugged. “Try Google, man. Other than that, just be aware that we can handle ourselves. We’ve been doing this for years and we aren’t dead yet.”

  Ryan nodded in agreement, and Ray changed the subject.

~

  The next day was busy. The heist was the day after next and everyone was working on last minute preps. Jack and Geoff were picking up their getaway vehicle from the shop. They’d gotten it a fresh paint job and new plates, as well as bullet proof tires and windshields. Gavin was doing tech work, making sure everything was in working order. Ray was cleaning guns and packing them into their van. Michael and Ryan were tasked with meeting their weapons dealer on the dock for an ammo restock, so they suited up in plainclothes and headed out.

  Michael wasn’t one for talk for the sake of talk, so the drive was quiet. The radio station got fuzzy as they got further and further out of Los Santos so he turned it off and just focused on driving.

  “Gav saw you guys in the Chiliad hideout last night,” Michael said. His voice was so sudden that it startled Ryan.

  “Yeah, we had a car chase.”

  Michael narrowed his eyes at him.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Just wondering when you and Ray got all buddy buddy again,” Michael said with a suspicious lilt to his words.

  “We aren’t 13, we can be friends after we break up,” Ryan said. “I apologized for everything. I admitted it was my fault.”

  Michael still looked suspicious. “We’re friends Ryan, right?”

  Ryan looked over at him curiously. “Yeah?”

  “But I’m better friends with Ray. And, I know he’s a big boy and he can make his own decisions, but I still don’t trust you completely.”

  “Don’t worry, I don’t think we’ll ever get back together again. I burned that bridge a long time ago,” Ryan said. He cringed at the memory.

  “You guys getting back together isn't what I'm worried about," he grumbled.

 

 

  “Everybody in position?”

  Ryan was crouched in an alleyway. Across from him was Geoff, speaking into the comm. Gavin was beside him, looking bored and distracted, but his fingers were gripping the butt of the gun tight enough to turn them stark white. Ryan listened for all the affirmatives.

  “Okay.” He looked across the way and met eyes with Ryan, then over to Gavin. “Heist begins in three..two..one. Go!”

  They rounded the corner and entered the bank.

  It was only a half second before the crowd reacted to them, and then things were set in motion. Crowd control was easy; people rarely played hero when a big scary masked man was waving a semi automatic at them. And when they did, Ryan didn't hesitate to put them down.

  They screamed, dropping down and raising their hands up. Ryan fired a few shots into the air, a threat that they understood quickly. People screamed again, pressing closer to each other. “Everybody get against the back wall, now!”

  Geoff took the money from the tellers then disappeared in the back with a teller. Gavin was stood by the door, waiting for the officers.

  “I hear sirens. Hurry up, Alpha one,” Gavin said.

  Ryan paced by the crowd, watching each and every person to make sure they didn’t try anything. They were smart, so his job was easy.

  Geoff came out with two duffels full. He tossed one to Ryan and they headed towards the door. Ryan heard the sirens too, once they were through the front doors. The police weren’t far away now, they sounded just a few blocks away.

  When they entered the alley way across from the bank Geoff spoke into his comm. “Michael, all clear.”

  “Got it. I’ll wait until they’re right by the cars before detonating.”

  “We’re heading to rendezvous right now. As soon as you blow head out.”

  “Got it.”

  “Jack, Ray, status?”

  “Still in the car. We’re ready to take off as soon as everyone get’s here,” Ray said.

  The two, running, stumbled as the world suddenly shook with an explosion. The roar was deafening, even this distance away. Despite that, Ryan still heard Michael and Gavin over the comm cheering.

  “Dude that was awesome! Why have we never used car bombs before?” Michael said, laughing.

  “Just get to the rendezvous point, assholes,” Geoff said, but he was grinning.

  The car was parked on the curb of the next block. Gavin and Michael were quick behind them, and once everyone was in the car they took off.

  "How much did you grab?" Michael asked, twisting in his seat to look at Geoff.

  Geoff grinned. "Two bags, dude. We're set for life."

  "We're already set for life," Jack said, looking at Geoff in the rear view mirror.

  Traffic slowed, which wasn't that weird in Los Santos, but soon it came to a dead stop on a busy freeway.

  "What happened?" Gavin asked, trying to look ahead of the long line of cars. "I didn't hear anything about an accident on the radio."

  "It's a traffic block. There's police up there checking cars," Ryan said.

  “This is new,” Jack said. Her hands gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles turning white.

  The car turned deadly quiet. Beside him, Ray gripped Ryan's hand nervously. Ryan twisted in his seat to look around for an opening, anything, but damn LS drivers sat bumper to bumper and even moving the car back an inch would hit the person behind them.

  “We need to get out,” Ryan said suddenly.

  “We can’t, that’ll make it even more suspicious,” Jack said, voice tight.

  “We lay low and get out of here as fast as we can. Fuck, we can’t just sit here until the cops get us,” Ryan said. “And there’s no playing this off. They know your faces.”

  “He’s right,” Geoff said. “I can’t think of anything we can do except bail.”

  The traffic moved up an inch as another car drove off. Geoff swallowed hard. “Okay. Make sure your guns are loaded. Grab the cash and anything in here that can be traced back to us.”

  There was a moment of flurry as everyone re-equipped. Ryan dreaded putting the mask back on. He just wanted this job to be over already.

  He pulled his hair back into a bun and slid the mask back on. Geoff tossed him one of the duffel before speaking.

 “Run. Head to the base on 9th street. Go in pairs, as soon as you feel safe enough, try to blend in, and avoid the fuzz. Now!”

  Everyone burst out of the car at once. They ducked low and ran off; Michael and Gavin, Jack and Geoff, Ryan and Ray. They separated at once, ducking low enough that the police wouldn’t see them. Irregardless, people in cars yelled at them, cursing and honking, which drew police attention. They all hurried as fast as they could.

  Ray and Ryan ducked off the side of the road. It was an upwards slope to an exit. “We need to get up there fast,” Ray said, and Ryan nodded, throwing a glance over to where the police were. Ryan drew his pistol and held it close before darting up the hill. They reached the exit and ran past the cars as fast as they could.

  A fence divided the limits of the freeway from the city. It was easy enough to climb, just a simple chain link fence. However, climbing it made them easy targets, but it was either that or run all the way down.

  "You go first, I'll keep watch," Ryan said.

  Ray looked hesitant, but he didn't argue. He started up, and Ryan raised his gun, keeping low and watching.

  It was brushy there, with a few scraggly trees and trash coating the ground. Thus, it didn’t take long for the police to find them. Ryan was a quick draw, and he shot down the two that emerged first. The shots alarmed the others, though, and he saw them heading towards the gate.

  “Ryan, go,” Ray said. He pulled his gun and watched from behind the gate. Ryan didn't like being so exposed. He still had the body armor, and the cops' .38s weren't enough to pierce that, but it would bruise.

  “Stop! Stand down or we will shoot!” Ryan was at the top of the fence, an easy target. The police seemed to notice this, as they opened fire on him. The bullet struck him right in the side, and he toppled off the fence and landed hard on the ground.

  "Are you alright?" Ray asked, moving to him quickly.

  "Yeah," he gasped. "Just.. got the wind knocked out of me."

  There was a moment of standstill. Ray kneeled in the grass beside him and watched the cops, gun aimed.

  “Surrender now or we will shoot you!"

  "Again?" Ray quipped, and Ryan chuckled.

  Ray fired once and hit the tree one of the officers were behind. They fired back once, nearly hitting Ray. Ryan regained enough breath to move into firing position and knocked off one of the officers.

  Then it was back into standstill.

  Ray glanced over at Ryan, giving him a worried look before turning back to where the officers stood. After a moment one of them swung around and shot at them. Ray, ever the quick draw, shot him in his place. It wasn't long before more officers started to approach their position, guns drawn and ready to shoot.

  "We need to go," Ray said. "You've got to have, like, a grenade or something on you, right?"

  Ryan grinned. "Ray you're a genius," he said.

  Ryan pulled a small explosive from his jacket, big enough to cause a sizable distraction, but not do much damage and tossed it.

  As soon as it was out of his hand, they ran quickly down the side of the hill.

 

 

  The city was a ways away. Ray ran out of breath before they even left the area where the roads were, so they slowed to a manageable pace. It was getting dark anyways, and the area they were in wasn’t the best of neighborhoods. They both had body armor on so he wasn’t concerned about that as much as getting attention drawn to them. As it was there was helicopters flying around overhead looking for them, and Ryan was getting anxious. Their comms were out of range, and it was stressing him out being unable to contact anyone.

  Ray looked to be in the same state. His fingers were gripping the ends of his hoodie and he was deathly silent. Ryan could feel the nerves emanating off of him as they walked. He wasn't sure what to say to the lad, so he just kept quiet.

  Ryan watched their shadows on the pavement grow. The sun was low behind them, and soon it would be dark. They weren’t anywhere near 9th street, still, and his shoulder ached from supporting the duffel.

  “Ryan, wait,” Ray said suddenly. Ryan looked up and saw the gas station.

  “What?”

  “They sell radios in there. We can tune to a news station. If they caught one of us they’d be talking all about it on the news.” He looked desperate, and Ryan didn’t hesitate to reach into the duffel and give him a couple bills.

  Ray pulled off his jacket and pushed a hand through his hair before going in.

  Ryan knelt beside a dumpster and checked their gear. They were okay on ammo still; between him and Ray they had just under a hundred rounds left. He wrapped their heavy arms, the stuff they couldn't conceal like Ray's sniper rifle, and his it under the dumpster. He noted the location and wrote it down. Later, when he had his phone back, he would text the location to the B Team for pickup.

  Ray came out after a couple minutes with a radio and a couple bottles of water. he knelt next to Ryan and handed him a bottle, then worked on opening the radio.

  “Thank you,” Ryan said. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until the cold water touched his throat. "What time is it?"

  "I dunno," Ray said. "We must've been walking an hour."

  "Feels like it."

  Ray glanced over at him. "Can't wait to get home," he said. "I just want to sleep for a couple years."

  The radio fell loose from it's packaging, and Ray popped the battery in. It was some cheap red plastic thing, only cost $20. It came with one set of headphones that rattled when any sound was played through them, and every station came in fuzzy. But it was enough.

  “What’s the news stations?” Ray asked.

  “97.1, 107, 104.3. That’s all I can think of right now.”

  “I got the first one, 97.1,” Ray said. He held out one earbud for Ryan and Ryan took it, settling beside him.

  It took them a moment before they started reporting on them. " _Update on the Fake AH Crew. The gang of criminals hit the Union Depository bank at 5pm earlier today and narrowly escaped police confrontation while exiting the bank. The police setup road blocks at their possible escape routes, and the crew met one of these blocks and escaped. They presumably split up, and police caught two members, nicknamed the Vagabond and the Brownman, escaping over a fence at around 6:30. There has been no word on the state of the other four members, and none have been arrested yet. Police warn citizens that these people are incredibly dangerous and heavily armed. Lock your doors and if you see any people walking the streets tonight, call 911 immediately and do not try to engage these people. Again, if you see anybody walking the streets tonight, call 911_ -"

  “They haven’t got anyone,” Ray said with a sigh of relief. He tugged his earbud off and relaxed into the wall. His hand, shaky, slid through his hair.“Fuck, they haven’t gotten anyone.” Ray’s voice cracked.

  “What was that you told me awhile ago? That they’ve been doing this for years and they aren’t dead yet.” Ryan slid an arm around Ray's shoulder's, comforting him. It always hurt Ryan to hear his voice crack. Ray was usually so stoic, deadpan all the time, that when he did finally break it was unexpected.

  Ray grinned and jabbed his elbow into Ryan’s side. “Shut the fuck up, I hate you,” he said, chuckling. He leaned into Ryan's side, pulling his knees up to his chest.

  Ryan smiled. Hearing Ray laugh eased the growing knot in Ryan’s stomach. They sat like that for a moment, silent, just collecting their thoughts. Ryan was anxious to get back to base, and ultimately home, but his legs felt like gelatin now that he'd sat down. And Ray was pretty much nestled into his side, which Ryan didn't want to stop him from doing. It was nice having him so close to him. Especially then, when his brain was sending a million thoughts a minute.

  Ray startled him by sliding his hand into his. He weaved their fingers together, and Ryan didn't hesitate to hold back. He stared at their hands for a moment, his heart beating wildly in his chest. His hand was warm, a little shaky, but still familiar to him. He leaned closer to Ray and squeezed his hand gently, letting himself relax.

 

  When they finally made it to base they found Michael and Gavin there already. Gavin was curled up on the couch sleeping, and Michael was sitting at the table staring at Michael sighed into his hands and muttered “Thank God” under his breath before standing to join them at the doorway.

  “Jesus man, I haven’t heard shit from anybody,” Michael said.

  “Heard anything on the news lately?” Ryan asked, gesturing towards the radio sitting on the table.

  “Not shit. ‘Cept that no one's been caught. Fuck, I wish I knew where Geoff and Jack were,” Michael said. He pushed a hand through his hair and sat back in the chair.

  Gavin jerked awake and glanced up at everyone.

  “Rye, Ray!” he said. He sat up and stretched. “Was thinking no one else was going to show.” He smiled, but Ryan could see the worry in his eyes.

  They all gathered around the radio at the table and listened in dead silence. One minute felt like a million years, and the shared tension made his anxiety worse. Everyone kept glancing at the door, waiting. He felt like he was going to explode.

  When the door did finally open and Geoff and Jack stumbled in, the whole room breathed a collective sigh of relief.

  “Holy fuck, we’re all here,” Ray said.

  “Yeah, no kidding,” Geoff said before going around the room and hugging everyone tight to his chest.

 

  They left town to Geoff’s house in the country the next day. It was a 10 hour drive to the place, but most everyone who wasn't driving fell asleep in the car.

  The house was dusty and huge. They would be here a month at least, but ideally 5 months, until the police calmed down off their trail. Ryan was dreading it. It was so far from everything, everyone, and so horribly quiet within the walls. In Los Santos there was the sound of traffic, of humans, 24/7, but here was just radio silence, white noise.

  He tried to take a nap in the bed. It was stark daylight there still, as they'd left early in the day, which made it difficult. He eventually gave up and moved downstairs, hoping someone was awake to talk with. However, everyone else was holed up in their rooms, so he decided to sit in the garden.

  It wasn’t so much a garden as it was a field of grass and dead plants. Still, it looked nice, and the sound of birds was preferable to nothing. Ryan settled in a chair and listened to nature. Birds, wind blowing through trees. He relaxed a bit, letting his eyes close.

  The sliding glass door jarred him awake. He looked over to see Ray standing there. He had his arms wrapped around himself, dark bags under his eyes. He looked even smaller, somehow. Ryan felt his gut wrench at the sight.

  “Hey,” Ray said.

  “Hey.”

  Ray scratched the back of his neck and looked down at the grass. “I uh.. was trying to take a nap. It’s hard to sleep in this house, y’know? Too quiet.”

  “Yeah. That’s why I came out here.”

  “Do you…” Ray trailed off, but Ryan understood. He stood and followed Ray to his room, then stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. He felt Ray's eyes on him as he did so, and when he turned around the lad was cross legged on the furthest side of the bed.

  Wordlessly, he climbed in beside him. Ray wasted no time in sliding his arms around Ryan's waist, burying his face in Ryan's chest. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and attempted sleep.

  Having Ray back in his arms, right beside him, made him feel so much better than before. He fell asleep easier that night than he had in the last year.

 

  When he woke up Ray was still asleep beside him. It was night time now. Through the crack in the curtains Ryan could see the sliver of the moon and thousands of stars. It'd been awhile since he'd seen the stars, so he let himself stare at them for awhile.

  The clock on the nightstand read 4am. He wasn't sure what time they'd gone to sleep, but he felt like he'd overslept and was now in a state of perpetual exhaustion. He could go back to sleep if he wanted, and he did want to.

  Beside him Ray shifted and groaned. He sat up and squinted at Ryan. “What time is it?”

  “Four.”

  “We’ve been asleep for 12 hours,” he said. He laid back down and sighed. “Is anyone else awake? Those assholes have been sleeping longer than us.”

  “I haven’t heard anyone.”

  They were quiet for a moment. Ryan knew what Ray wanted to say; he wanted to say it too. It was an elephant in the room, but they never were that good at communicating their feelings.

  “I, uh, after what happened yesterday. Or day before I guess, now, I kind of don’t want to do this anymore. I mean, we both obviously want to get back together, so what the hell, right? I just, you know, don't want to waste time anymore. Stuff like yesterday really makes you realize that we aren't going to be here forever. We can't just fuck around because we're too afraid to talk about things, you know?"

  Ryan was quiet for a moment as he processed this. He looked over at Ray who was staring up at the ceiling, with his hands folded over his stomach.

  “Yeah,” Ryan breathed. “What the hell.”

  Ray smiled. “Pretty anticlimactic, isn’t it?”

  “I like it. I think our lives are too exciting anyways.”

  Ray rolled over onto his side and kissed Ryan. Ryan held him close, hand coming up to tangle in Ray's hair. When they separated, Ryan felt a weight he hadn't even realized was there lift off of him. He felt like he could breath again, like the oxygen in his lungs had been restored.

  “I think I agree.”

  Ryan moved to kiss him again, deeper this time.

  “Do you mind if I say something really gay right now?” Ray asked, leaning his forehead against Ryan’s.

  “I mean, you were just making out with another man, but sure go ahead.”

  “I really missed you,” he said. His hand gripped the front of Ryan’s shirt desperately, like he was afraid Ryan would leave again. Ryan pulled him back, hugging him close.

  "I missed you too. I won't leave this time, I promise."

  "You better not," Ray said.

 

  Besides the fact that this house had stairs and everything wasn’t within walking distance, not much changed at the big house. Jack still made dinner, Michael, Ray, and Gavin still sat on the couch playing video games until Geoff forced them to get off so he could watch his shows. Ryan used the spare time to catch up on his reading. The WiFi was shit this far away from the city, so he dug his Kindle out from the bottom of his suitcase and started on the books he bought but never started.

  Ray came in not too long after he started reading and laid on the bed beside him. He pulled out his DS and started playing quietly.

  “What’s up?” Ryan asked, lowering his Kindle so he could see over the top of it.

  “Nothing, just thought I’d hang out with you.”

  “S’not really hanging out if we’re not talking.”

  “Sure it is,” Ray said. He rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder and turned his focus back to his game.

  When Geoff knocked on the door Ryan felt a bolt of panic streak through him, unsure if they should let everyone know just yet. Ray, however, just called “Come in” and made no effort to move.

  “Dinners done, if you’re not too busy touching dicks,” Geoff said. He raised a curious eyebrow as he examined the scene.

  “I’m never too busy for food,” Ray said, sitting up. He shut off his DS and sat it on the bed.

  Geoff stopped Ryan at the door before he could follow Ray out. “Are you two…?”

  Ryan nodded, and Geoff frowned.

  “You understand my concerns, right?”

  “I do. But I assure you this won't end like last time.”

  Geoff was quiet for a moment. “I believe you. I don’t know what you did while you were gone, but you’re a lot calmer now. Different, in a good way.”

~

  The weeks leading up to the fight were tumultuous. It began, as with most bad things in their life, with a job gone wrong. It should have been easy, a simple point n shoot where they eliminated a gang that had been moving in on their territory.

  Ryan hadn’t seen exactly what happened, but he heard Gavin scream and Geoff yell “Let him go you asshole!”

  Ryan had rounded the corner and saw some big burly man holding Gavin, gun pointed to his head. He was grinning, teeth bared and eyes wild.

  “Move a fucking muscle and this prick gets a hole in his head!” the man yelled.

  “Wait!” Geoff cried. “What do you want? We have money, land, anything!”

  “Anything?”

  “Anything! Just don’t kill him, please!”

  ‘I want 12 million dollars.”

  “We can do that-”

  “And all the land west of Vinewood.”

  Geoff nodded without hesitation.

  “And protection from anyone who tries to take it from me. I want guards posted 24/7 to keep anyone from getting a hit on me.”

  Gavin looked like he was about to faint. He was pale white, eyes wide and hands shaking where they were grasped around the man’s elbow. The man tightened his grasp and Gavin had to crane his neck so he didn’t choke.

  Ryan felt a rising panic swell inside of him. As it was Ryan could see his grip weakening as the man choked him. Geoff was still negotiating with the man. His demands were getting more and more ridiculous by the second, and his grip tightening as he did so. Geoff went along with it without thinking twice.

  “Geoff!” Gavin cried in a choked sob.

  The angle he was at gave him a good shot of the man, but he would have to be extremely careful not to shoot Gavin, or miss. But he was acting on fear-and instinct- now, and he only took a moment to aim before firing.

  The man sunk to the ground. Gavin stood there wearily before falling to his hands and knees and vomiting on the floor.

  Everyone ran to him immediately, asking if he was alright. Gavin was shaking terribly and gasping for air, but he was okay, he was alive and breathing.

  Ryan took a calm breath, but it was interrupted by Geoff grabbing his arm and dragging him away out of the base.

  “What the fuck?” he demanded.

  “What do you mean what the fuck? I saved Gavin’s life while you sat over there jerking yourself off,” Ryan bit.

  “What if you hit him? What if you missed? What if he didn’t die? You could have fucking killed him, you asshole!” Geoff prodded a finger into Ryan’s chest, and Ryan scowled.

  “And if I hadn’t killed him Gavin would be dead now anyways.”

  “We were negotiating Ryan.”

  “And he was killing Gavin while you were doing it.”

  "You're always so fucking trigger happy, Ryan. Murder is always your go to solution for everything! Fuck, how many times has that gotten us in shit? And how long before you turn on us without thinking?"

  Ryan opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Jack appearing in the doorway.

  “Hey,” she said. Her voice was stern, and Ryan was suddenly aware that she’d heard their spat, that everyone inside had heard their spat.

  “We’re finishing this at home.”

  Ryan turned and walked away without another word.

~

  It only took a week for everyone to get fed up of the house. They worked their way through the five games they had there, and Michael and Gavin started getting whiny very fast with nothing to do.

  Towards the end of the week, however, the full moon drew nearer. Ryan wasn't familiar with the area, as Utah never sounded extremely interesting to him before so he never visited, so he found Geoff downstairs and decided to ask him about accommodations.

  Geoff was sitting in the kitchen talking with Jack. When Ryan walked he looked up at him and smiled. “Hey buddy, what’s up?”

  “Hey Geoff. I was wondering if you had a place I could stay during the full moon?”

  “Oh shit, I forgot about that,” Geoff said. “I don’t know much about what’s around here, man. If anything we can ship you back to the interrogation barn in Los Santos.”

  “That’s a 10 hour drive,” Ryan said. “There’s nothing closer here, like a basement or something?”

  Geoff shrugged. “I dunno, buddy. We can drive around here and scout the area if you’d like? Honestly, I’d like to get out of here anyways. I’m getting claustrophobic in here.”

  “Alright, that sounds good.”

  “Awesome! Just tell me when you’re ready. The sooner the better, right?”

 

 

  Getting out of the house cleared Ryan’s head a lot. It was mostly just scenery for miles out, but they found a small town a ways away. They didn’t find much, though. It was a mostly desert area around their place, with a small town a mile or so away. They stopped at the town and explored around, but it was mostly just a residential area with a few gas stations.

  “Looks like driving back is all you can do. I can send someone with you if you want. Ray maybe.”

  Ryan agreed. It was his only sure route, despite how little he wanted to make the 10 hour trip. Being with Ray would help, or make them hate each other. Either way it would be the safer option.

  “Okay,” he said.

  “I’ll give you money for a hotel so you don’t have to make it in one go,” Geoff said.

  Ryan gave him a thankful look and Geoff turned the car around and drove them back home.

 

 

  Ryan was already half asleep when Ray climbed in bed beside him.

  “Hey,” he muttered.

  "Hey," Ray said. He curled into him, wrapping his arms around Ryan's waist and holding him closer.

  Ryan turned to face him. “Do you want to go back to Los Santos with me?”

  “For?”

  “It’s a full moon in a couple days. We couldn’t find anything around here so I’m just driving back to Los Santos and using the interrogation barn.”

  Ray considered this.

  “Geoff’s giving me money for a hotel too,” Ryan added.

  “Oh, sure then,” Ray said, and Ryan chuckled. “I’m going stir crazy in this house, anyways. I might go all 'Shining' on everyone if I have to watch Geoff and Gavin play Peggle one more time.”

  Ryan smiled. “Maybe you should. At least then something would be happening.”

  “True,” Ray said. Ryan felt Ray's hand curl in the front of his’s shirt.

  Ryan leaned in to close the gap. Ray’s other hand moved to curl in Ryan’s hair, and Ryan tilted his head to lick into Ray’s mouth. He didn’t realize he’d dragged Ray’s hips against his until he was gasping from the friction. Ray gasped, leaning in to press himself closer.

  Ryan froze suddenly, separating himself from Ray.

  “What’s wrong?” Ray asked.

  “I want to do this when I’m not all weird from the moon,” Ryan explained.

  “Okay,” Ray said, an understanding look in hos eyes. Ryan felt a weight lift off his chest as Ray scooted into him, tossing an arm over Ryan’s chest.

~

  Ryan was testier than usual for an entire week after his and Geoff’s argument. Even Ray started to avoid Ryan after that.

  Jack made a futile attempt to get them to work things out. She started planning a heist, hoping that would help. However, sitting in a room with both Ryan and Geoff turned out to be a horrible idea. They either avoided talking to each other altogether or made passive aggressive comments to anything the other said the entire time.

  Ryan would later blame all this on himself. It was near a moon, and at the time he had little control over his emotions. Geoff wouldn’t deny his role either, though.

  The following week Ryan recounted as his worst week ever.

  It started off with a fight. Ryan had been out for a solo job, something he stopped doing after joining the crew. He was making news alone again, news stations talking about how brutal his killings were, even speculating if it was animal attacks, in the middle of the city.

  But the stress relief wasn’t enough. Ryan felt like a live wire, constantly. He walked into the penthouse covered in blood and smelling like gore. He didn't bother taking his mask off, just peered though at everybody and turned down the hall to the shower.

  When he went into his room, Ray was there sitting on the bed. He was playing his DS, but when Ryan walked in he stopped.

  "Hey," Ray said.

  Ryan sighed. "Hey."

  Ray set his DS down and Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm not really in the mood for a meaningful chat right now."

  "Was it that obvious?"

  "It wasn't exactly subtle."

  Ray shrugged. "Well, Geoff wanted me to talk to you about-"

  "Oh great, Geoff sent you to bitch at me too?"

  "Rye," Ray pleaded, and Ryan relented.

  "Make it fast, then. I'm not in the mood."

  "Geoff wanted me to talk to you about your issues. I mean, you've kinda been going off lately..."

  "I've been going off?"

  "You've been super aggressive lately, man," Ray said.

  Ryan scowled. "And what does he suggest I do about it?"

  Ray looked down and shrugged. "He thinks you have some stuff you need to work out. He thinks you should consider a vacation or something."

  "So he's trying to kick me out?" Ryan turned on his heel to face Ray.

  "No! No, he thinks you just need to take a break and relax, says you've been too stressed out lately." Ray looked honestly scared, and that made Ryan feel like shit.

  "I don't need a break, I'm fine. It's just because there's a full moon soon."

  "Next week?" Ray looked skeptical.

  "Yes."

  Ray opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. "Okay." He reached out a hand to Ryan. "Come to bed, please?"

  Ryan climbed in to bed beside him and pulled him close. "I love you," Ryan whispered against his skin. Ray pulled him in for a kiss. His fingers tightened in his shirt, using it to pull him closer. Ryan felt an ache in his chest, like nostalgia, and he wasn't sure why.

  "I love you too," Ray said, resting his forehead against Ryan's. They sat there in silence for a moment, staring into each others eyes. Ray looked sad, and at the time Ryan wasn't sure why.

~

  They started for Los Santos the next morning. Ray was less than happy to have to wake up so early, but the prospect of finally being able to get out of the house energized him enough to be halfway useful to Ryan. They packed the car in silence. Ryan had a lot on his mind and Ray knew him well enough to not press for information. Ryan was thankful for that, but he wished Ray would say something.

The long stretches of road paired with the silent car reminded Ryan too much of the past. He turned to Ray and sought for something to say before Ray, bless him, said something.

  “When are we stopping for a hotel?”

  “When do you want to stop for a hotel?”

  Ray shrugged. “I mean, I would like to stop as soon as possible, but that’s unreasonable so you should probably decide.”

  They were near the Utah border now, and in five hours they’d be in Vegas, or around Vegas. Ryan figured they could stop there, as it was a half way point between Los Santos and where they were now.

  “How about Vegas, in five hours?”

  Ray scrunched his nose up at five hours. “I mean, isn’t there a somewhere closer?”

  “Yeah, but the trip tomorrow would be longer,” he said.

  Ray groaned. “Whatever.”

  They fell into silence for a moment, before Ray cleared his throat. He looked up from his game and sighed. “I was, uh, wondering what you did while you were gone,” Ray said.

  Ryan stared at the road for a moment before answering. “Not much. I just drove around for awhile. I didn’t even take any jobs, just stole cars and drove. I went all the way to Maine before heading back.”

  “Why? You couldn’t have just been driving for the hell of it,” Ray said.

  “I was looking for somewhere to settle,” Ryan admitted with a sigh. “I was going to start new. Even got all the papers for a new identity. I was going to find a job, maybe start a family. Just get as far away from what I was, what I am now, as possible.”

  Ray was staring down at the floorboards now. “Why didn’t you? What made you turn around?”

  Ryan laughed humorlessly. “What do you think? I’m a werewolf, and even if I wasn’t I’m a serial killer. Not to mention you, the entire crew. I tried to break as many ties as I could before leaving, but still I couldn’t stop thinking about everyone. Especially you,” Ryan said. Ray looked up at him.

  “I missed you, you know that. But you understand why I ended it, right?”

  Ryan dropped his gaze down to the wheel. “Yeah, I do. I don’t blame you. I never did, even as it was happening.”

  Ray nodded. He reached over and Ryan met his hand in the middle. “I love you,” Ray said quietly. "I'm happy you came back." He squeezed his hand lightly.

  Ryan smiled. “I love you too.”

~

  Ryan spent most of his time away from the penthouse during the month. He would disappear for days without a word, only to return in the middle of the night reeking of gore and covered in blood in various stages of dry.

  It was then that he’d started to consider leaving the crew. He felt like his membership had run it’s course, and he couldn’t stand being in the same room with any of them anymore, except Ray. And it seemed most of them felt the same. He hadn’t talked to Michael or Gavin in a week, and his interactions with Jack were mostly her attempting to break up his and Geoff’s arguments. His relationship with Ray was straining, and as the moon drew closer he was losing motivation to try and repair it.

  Still, it came as a surprise when Ray broke up with him.

  Ryan had just come back from a three day murder spree. After a long shower he made his way to the room and fell into bed.

  It wasn’t long after that he noticed the room was more barren than usual. Ray’s phone charger, forever plugged into the wall, was gone. It was a small thing, easily explained, but Ryan still felt uneasy at it’s absence.

  He sat up and looked around the room. The stack of games on the dresser were gone, leaving only Ryan’s few, the book Ray had been reading, the third Game of Thrones book, was gone from the night stand. Ryan stood and opened the closet and noticed Ray’s clothes gone.

  Ryan felt like someone had staked his heart. He sat on the bed and stared at the empty space in the closet for god knows how long.

  Ray didn’t confront him until the next day. Ryan was at the counter in the kitchen, staring at a mug of black coffee. Everyone was out, leaving Ray and Ryan alone together. He assumed they didn’t know yet. Reasonable, as Ray wasn’t prone to sharing sensitive things like this.

  “Hey,” Ray said quietly.

  Ryan gripped the mug tighter to keep from flinching.

  “When did you get back?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “Oh.”

  Ryan wanted nothing more then than to leave. Leave for good this time, not disappear for three days. They were in the middle of heist planning, some shitty job Jack thought up to try to get the team together again.

  “I, uh, need to talk to you…” Ray said. Ryan didn’t look up from the mug. He noticed his hand shaking slightly.

  “I know.”

  Ray looked down at the tile. He swallowed thickly, then pushed a hand through his hair. He was wearing his glasses, Ryan noticed. Ryan wondered what that meant, if it meant anything, or if his mind was trying to distract him from what came next.

  “I think we should break up.”

  Ryan flinched, despite himself. He knew it was coming, but that didn’t stop it from hurting. It felt more real, hearing it rather than seeing it in the small details around their-- his room.

  “Okay,” he said, because he couldn’t figure what else to say.

  “We’re still friends, right?” Ray asked. His voice was shaky, but he was obviously trying to conceal it.

  “Yeah,” Ryan said. “Sure.”

  Ray opened his mouth to say something else, but thought better of it. Ryan watched him disappear down the hall, every bone in his body numb. When he heard Ray’s door close he finally stood up. He poured the coffee down the sink and stared at the empty mug for a moment before throwing it against the wall. Watching the ceramic pieces scatter over the floor offered little comfort. Frustrated, he retreated back to his room. Putting a hole through the wall only hurt his fist. He paced his room, struggling to hold back the tears. His head was whirring with too many thoughts, things he could have done to save their relationship, how he wished he’d done something instead of let Ray fall from his grasp. He thought about going to Ray and apologizing, begging him to take him back, but it was pointless.

  Ryan couldn’t stay. He couldn't stand the feeling in his chest, like he was suffocating on dry land. Everything he had was gone. His friends, his lover, down the drain because of him. And he couldn't stand being surrounded by the ghosts of what he once had.

  It was an easy decision to make. After this heist was over, he would be gone. For good this time.

~

  The second leg of their journey felt like the longest. Ray had a bad habit of falling asleep on drives longer than 30 minutes if he didn’t have entertainment, and he’d forgotten to plug in his DS overnight and reading in cars made him nauseous. Thus, Ryan was left alone with his thoughts. He turned the radio on and tried to focus on driving.

  When his mind inevitably wandered he thought about the crew. He was on better terms with them. Gavin seemed to never harvest any hard feelings towards him, though the lad was easy to forgive. Michael still had bad feelings, though the man could hold a grudge to the grave. Still, he hadn’t blown Ryan up in his sleep, so Ryan considered that a win. Geoff forgave him, it seems he had long ago, and Jack was just happy to have the crew together again.

  Ray was different. He still felt like he hadn’t apologized to Ray enough, still hadn’t made everything up to him yet. He knew he was forgiven, but he still felt terrible for everything. Though, he didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling terrible for what he’d done. To everybody, really, not just Ray. He’d done more damage than he thought he had, some of it irreparable, though he’d come to terms with this long ago.

  Ray stirred from his sleep. He looked over at Ryan absently. “Morning.”

  “It’s three in the afternoon.”

  Ray shrugged. "How far are we from Los Santos?"

  "An hour or so. Minus traffic," Ryan said. Ray reached over and offered his hand, and Ryan took it.

  "Geoff wanted me to text him when we got close," Ray said as he used his free hand to pull out his phone.

  Ray typed out a message before shoving his phone back into his pocket. He leaned back into his seat and squeezed Ryan's hand. "You don't mind if I sleep the rest of the way there, do you?"

  Ryan chuckled. "Even if I did you'd still do it."

  "True," he said. He rested his free hand behind his head and closed his eyes.

 

 

  Ryan paid for the hotel while Ray sat in the car and waited. When he came back, Ray was staring at his phone with a look of slight concern on his face.

  "What's up?" Ryan asked, gesturing to the phone.

  "Nothing. Just, Geoff hasn't texted back," he said.

  Ryan felt a pang of worry in his gut. "You know how he is with texting," Ryan said. "He probably typed it out and forgot to press send."

  Ray agreed, shoving his phone back into his pocket. He looked up at Ryan and sighed, relaxing a bit. "You get the room?"

  "Yep."

  Their hotel was on the third level, one bed with a little mini fridge full of fancy waters and foods. Ray fell into the bed with a sigh, then tugged Ryan down with him.

  "Take a nap with me," Ray said. He wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist with a contented sigh.

  "You were asleep nearly the whole car ride," Ryan said, but he didn't resist.

  Ray's hand tangled in the front of Ryan's shirt, a habit he'd had since they got together. Ryan had never started questioning why he did that until after they broke up.

  Ryan didn't ask why, though, not then. He just leaned closer and closed his eyes.

 

 

  Ray woke him up a few hours later. It was dark outside their hotel room, and Ryan was still a bit sleepy from the nap.

  "Hey," he said quietly, but Ray gave him a startled look.

  "I hear something outside," he said and Ryan furrowed his brow.

  He listened. He heard talking from unfamiliar voices. Not weird, they were in a hotel.

  Still, Ryan reached over and grabbed their guns from the nightstand.

  "Don't shoot unless you need to. We're on the third floor, we're fucked if we get police attention," Ryan whispered. Ray nodded, and Ryan leaned in and kissed him. "We'll be fine."

  They watched the door carefully. Ray's breathes were shaky. He reached over and grabbed Ryan's sleeve.

  The voices passed, at Ryan looked over at Ray. Ray's grip tightened as Ryan stood up. "It's fine, don't worry," he said. He had a growing knot in his stomach of worry, protectiveness. He put the chain lock on the door before climbing back over to Ray in bed.

  "We're fine," he said.

  "Geoff still hasn't texted back. Should I call him?"

  Ryan considered this before nodding.

  Ryan leaned against the headboard and Ray sat between his legs, resting against his chest so Ryan could hold him close. The lad was worried, and he knew Ryan was too.

  They waited in silence for Geoff to answer his phone. The man never had his ringer off, and he never missed a call, so when he didn't answer, they knew it was time to panic.

  Ray tried the others, all of them, before setting his phone down.

  "Fuck," he said. "We need to do something."

  Ryan didn't respond, just tightened his hold on Ray. "Do you think whoever is outside is with them?"

  "I doubt it, but we should still  be careful," Ryan said. "Keep trying Geoff, okay?"

  Ray nodded and grabbed his phone.

  Ryan sat up to secure the area. Outside was a fire escape. They could get down it no problem, but they would be easy targets, even with the cover of night on them. The front door was a possibility, with better cover, but if those voices were bad people then that was too risky. The door beside them led to a conjoined room, but it was locked with a key card. Sources of possible cover in this room were low. There was little furniture, besides a bed, and the only other room was a bathroom with no windows.

  Ryan opened up the window and popped out the screen, just in case it came to it.

  "Anything?" he asked.

  "Not shit," Ray said, voice strained.

  "If anybody tries to come in, we escape though here," he said. "We get to the car and drive to the nearest safe house."

  "The one on South Sage," Ray said.

  "Okay."

  They sat in silence for a moment, both on edge. Ryan was itching for something to happen. he never liked sitting around and waiting, and in their current situation it felt ten times more grueling.

  The knock on the door came nearly 20 minutes after the voices. Ryan and Ray both looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

  "Ryan Haywood, Ray Narvaez Jr, we know you're in there. Come out unarmed and we won't hurt your friends," came the voice from the other side.

  Ray looked at Ryan in fear, though Ryan was equally horrified.

  "C'mon, don't make this harder than it needs to be, guys. If you don't come out in less than a minute, I tell one of my guys to shoot your friends back home."

  "Ryan.." Ray said, and Ryan hurried to the door.

  "Aah, that's better."

  The man behind the door wore a face mask. He was average height, coming to Ryan's nose. He was also being trailed by nine heavily armed men in full body armor. Despite the bad situation they were in, Ryan couldn't help but feel a little flattered by that.

  "Ah, this is better. Look here," the man said. He held up a disposable phone. "I've got my buddy on the line, and he's got the rest of your crew. if anything happens, if he hears a single gun shot or if this line goes dead, he kills them all."

  Ryan felt a streak of panic at that.

  "So you best cooperate then, eh boys?"

  "Fine. Do whatever, just don't hurt them," Ryan growled.

  "Perfect," the man said. He nodded and two men moved forward to cuff them.

 

 

  Ray and Ryan were separated, tied up, and shoved into the back of two different box trucks. Two man with guns were in the truck with Ryan, though it was extremely dark and he only saw them when morning came and a thin stream of light came through the gap between the back doors.

  He was freaking out. His captors had him in a hard place. If he tried to do anything they would kill the crew, and with his impending change his mood was out of control. He wanted to do something, desperately, but he didn't want to put his friends at risk.

  So he sat, hunched against the wall of the truck, and waited.

  He wasn't sure how much time had passed when the truck stopped. It was maybe late afternoon then, so possibly hours. His mouth was dry and his wrists were sore from the handcuffs. When the door opened the sun stung his eyes. He blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust. When he did he saw two men shoving Ray along. He looked okay, if scared. Ryan felt slightly relieved to see him alive.

  They were stopped at some building, a hide out maybe. The two guards in the back of the truck stood and shoved him out, then led him to the front of the building. The leader opened the door with a key card, and Ryan and Ray were shoved in.

  This building had no windows, and it appeared to be some sort of ice house. There were no rooms, just a large empty space. Sat in the middle of the room was the rest of the crew, bound to metal chairs that were nailed to the ground. Their captors weren't stupid.

  Ryan felt more relieved when he saw them, unharmed and breathing. Whden they looked up and saw the two they looked torn between relieved and sad that they were caught.

  The guards tied them to the chair then followed the leader out.

  He took a moment to gather his thoughts before he spoke. He needed to be calm, collected. Panicking would only make the situation worse, he knew. He took a deep breathe before speaking.

  "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

  Everyone replied with a yes, and he relaxed marginally.

  "Not to worry anybody, but we need to get out of here fast, guys. I don't know what time it is, but I know I'm going to change soon," he said quietly.

  Geoff cursed. "I've been trying to figure out a way to get out for hours," he said. "These guys aren't stupid, they know what they're doing."

  Ryan sighed. Even if they did get out, they were all completely unarmed. "How long have you guys been in here?" he asked.

  "I dunno. Day or two?"

  "We tried to text you yesterday and you never responded, so at least since then."

  "This fucking sucks dick," Geoff sighed.

  "What do they want us for anyways?" Ray asked.

  "Some asshole put a price on our heads," Jack muttered, sounding tired more than anything.

  "We'll get out of here, don't worry. We'll figure something out," Geoff said.

  Ryan fiddled with the hand cuffs. They were police grade, solid and not easily picked. Ryan wasn't a contortionist so he knew he'd be unable to get out of these. They used simple zip ties to bind his feet. He could get out of those easy, but it was pointless to do so.

  The door opened and the leader walked in. He grinned at them all. "Don't worry, folks, you won't be stuck in here much longer. They're coming to get you now, and I'll be 60 million dollars richer. Isn't that wonderful?"

  "No," Geoff muttered, and the man frowned.

  "You're awful rude for someone chained to a chair, Ramsey."

  Geoff sneered.

  When he left the room Gavin leaned forward. "Do you think telling Asshole over there would help? I'm sure the bounty is a lot less if we're dead," he said.

  Ryan flinched at the word dead. He started panicking again, and had to force himself to sound calm. "Maybe. He doesn't seem too sympathetic to our plight, though."

  Gavin shrugged. "Worth a try, though, right?"

  "Hey!" Geoff shouted suddenly. "Hey prick!"

  It took a few moments of noise making before the door swung open again. "What?" he bit.

  "It's a full moon tonight, right?" Geoff said.

  The leader rolled his eyes. "I guess?"

  "Well, one of us in here is a werewolf, and if you don't get us out soon he's going to change and fuck everyone up. And I'm sure you won't be getting no 60 mil if we're dead," Geoff said.

  "Oh, is that true? Hmm, better release you all then, eh?" the man mocked. Geoff scowled at him. "Stop wasting my time, I'm a busy man."

  Geoff groaned as he walked out. "Fuck me in the ass," he muttered. He started tugging on his chains.

  "Ryan, how long does it take to change?" Jack asked.

  "Not long. 20 minutes or so," he sighed. He slumped over in his chair and groaned. "Fuck."

  "Ryan," Ray whispered. Ryan looked up at him. "Are you...?"

  "No, not yet. There's not long though. Last time he opened the door it looked like the sun was about to start going down."

  Ray closed his eyes and turned away. Ryan grimaced.

  The room was silent.

  "I just... I'm sorry," he said. "What I do when I'm a wolf, it's not... It's not me, and I don't control anything that happens. I just want everyone to know that."

  "Ryan, stop. We're getting out of here, we'll figure something out."

  "It's going to happen soon, I can feel it," he said. "And unless one of you are going to somehow MacGyver your way out of here, I think we're all fucked."

  A silence fell. The door opened and the leader walked in. Behind him Ryan could see the light diminishing. He sighed and looked over at everyone, heads lowered and solemn looks on their faces.

  "Well, guess we're all dead anyways. I'd rather be offed by someone I know than some random asshole who paid 60 mill for us," Geoff said once the leader left.

  "True," Jack agreed.

  "Death by werewolf is more badass than getting got by some douchebag anyways," Michael said.

  Ray looked over at Ryan and shrugged. "Hey, I love you," he said.

  "I love you too."

  Ryan felt the first pang then. He gasped and hunched over, tried desperately to will it away. When he looked back up everyone was staring at him in fear. He grimaced and hunched back over as another wave of pain washed over him. He tried desperately to yank himself free of the cuffs, but to no avail. He was stuck, and once he was finished, his only friends in the world would be dead by his hand.

  "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," he gasped. He keeled over as another sharp pain came to him. He turned away from the group, shaking violently as he did so. The next sharp pain was the one that made him pass out.

 

 

  He woke up outside, in a dusty field covered in blood. He came to slowly. It was a cloudy day, the sun blotted out behind him. It was still early morning, with a cool breeze chilling his body.

  He stood slowly. He was more bruised than usual, with his wrists raw and bleeding. The cuffs were still on, but the chain linking them was broken. Dried blood surrounded the area, and he had obvious wounds under the metal. He adjusted one and pain shot through his arm. His clothes were tattered and soaked through, dried to his skin.

  A few yards away he saw the building. His hands started shaking then. They were gone, because of him. Dead. Probably in his stomach.

  He keeled over and vomited into the dust, still shaking. He took a few steps back and collapsed, a cloud of dust around him. How would he live with what he'd done? He couldn't. He couldn't! The knowledge that he'd killed his friends was too much on his mind. He was a monster, god, worse even.

  Not too far from him was a guard. He had a gun on the ground beside him, resting just by his finger tips.

  He stood up and took a few shaky steps to the building. He wasn't sure what possessed him to skip past the guards and open the door, but he did.

  They were alive. Ryan couldn't believe it. He nearly fell to his knees in relief, and his whole body was trembling.

  "Jesus," he muttered. He pushed a shaking hand through his hair.

  "Think you can unlock us now?" Geoff asked.

  Ryan chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, yeah of course."

  It took a bit of rummaging, but he found the keys. He undid them first, then undid the loops around his own wrists.. As soon as he was done he was pulled into a hug from Ray. His entire body hurt, and he was sure he had a few bullets lodged in his body, but he still held Ray tight against him.

  "I thought you were dead," he muttered in a half sob, burying his face in Ray's neck.  "I thought you were all dead. Jesus."

  Ray held him closer. "God, Ryan," Ray muttered. His hand tangled in Ryan’s shirt and he buried his face in his neck. “I thought… I thought you’d…”

  Ryan felt tears streak down his cheeks, and he buried his face in the crook of Ray's neck. He pulled the lad tighter, hoping he wasn't hurting him but wanting him as close as possible. They stood like that for a moment before Ray pulled away.

  "How're you feeling?" Geoff asked.

  "I feel okay. I probably won't in an hour or so but right now I feel okay," he said.

  Ray reached over and squeezed Ryan's hand reassuringly. Everyone was okay. Ryan was still freaking out in his mind, he still wanted to reach out and hug everyone, just so he knew it was real and not some cruel dream. But he felt a little woozy then, and he just wanted to get home.

 

 

  He had to get 3 bullets removed, mostly around his rib area. It took awhile for him to heal, but it wasn't his first gun shot wound so he knew mostly what to expect.

  Ray stayed close to him during the healing process.

  He was thankful for that. After everything he felt more protective of the crew than before. They hadn't gone on a heist since, what with everyone still recovering from everything. Ryan was still in a bad way, with his arm in a sling and a deep bullet wound on his side.

  Ryan spent the majority of the days in bed. Ray was curled into his back, arms wrapped around him tightly but carefully.

  "I love you," Ray muttered, then smiled.

  "I know."

  Ray chuckled, then leaned in and kissed him. His hands moved up to tangle in Ryan's hair, tugging gently at the strands.  

  Ray's hand found the front of his shirt, as always, and Ryan leaned in to the touch.

  "Do you, uh, want to bang?"

  Ryan chuckled. "Wow, ever the romantic, aren't you."

  Ray scowled. "Well, I don't know if you can while you're all crippled and crap."

  "I'm pretty sure I can, as long as we don't do anything too crazy."

  "Well shit, give me a moment to unhook the sex swing then," Ray said.

  Ryan chuckled and pulled Ray close.  Ray slung a leg over Ryan's waist, straddling him.

  "Would you be okay if I rode you?" Ray asked.

  "Yeah," Ryan said, suddenly a little breathless.

  Ray grinned, then tugged at the hem of his shirt.

  Ryan leaned up so Ray could tug the shirt over his head, and as soon as the fabric hit the ground Ray's palms pressed to his stomach. He leaned down to kiss Ryan, and Ryan tangled his fingers in Ray's hair. Ray ground down on him, and Ryan gasped at the contact.

 "Are you...?" Ray asked, pulling away from Ryan.

  "Yeah, I'm fine," Ryan said, dragging Ray close to him. Ray grinned and kissed him, pushing his shirt and hoodie up over his hips. Ray sat up and tugged them both off, and Ryan moved to touch him.

  Ryan's fingers stopped just short of the button to his jeans. He undid them deftly, then shoved his hand down the front. Ray moaned into his mouth, moving slowly against his palm.

  Ryan pulled his hand out and Ray groaned. "Ugh," he muttered, and Ryan chuckled.

  "Take off your pants," he said, and Ray listened. He stood from the bed to slide them off, and Ryan propped himself up to do the same. He only had one good hand, but it was enough.

  Before settling back on the bed Ray dug though the drawer and produced a bottle of lube and a condom.

  "Would you like to do the honors?" Ray asked, offering the bottle to him.

  "Of course," he replied, talking the bottle from Ray’s hand. Ray straddled his waist and Ryan began preprations.

  Ryan was always careful with Ray. This time he had to be extra careful, though. There was nothing that could kill a mood faster than busting a stitch mid thrust and bleeding out on the sheets.

  This time, however, Ray took charge. Ryan rested his hand on Ray's hips but Ray set the pace, and he made sure not to jostle Ryan in a way that would hurt him. Ray was always a bit of a power bottom. They were both versatile, but Ray always preferred power bottom to any other position.

  When they finished they were both struggling to not be loud. Ray collapsed off of him, off to the side, chest heaving and grinning from ear to ear. He looked over at Ryan and grinned even wider. "That was awesome," he said.

  Ryan grinned now too. "I know."

  They laid there for a moment before Ryan urged him up. "It's almost dinner time.”

  Ray groaned before standing up and hobbling to the closet. His clothes were back in, on the left side, like they had been before. Ryan couldn’t help but smile fondly at that.

  “I’m going to pass out at the table,” Ray remarked.

  Ryan chuckled and stood up. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  He pulled on a shirt and sweats, then took a minute to pull the sling back on. Ray helped him hook it behind his pack, then pulled him in for another kiss.

  They were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Ryan moved to answer it.

  He greeted Geoff with a smile. “Hey, what’s up?” Ryan asked.

  "Hey Ryan. There's food if you and Ray are hungry. Nothing fancy, just pizza. If you’re not too busy in here." Ryan glanced around to see Ray sprawled over the edge of the bed. He grinned at Geoff.

  “Come back to bed,” Ray said, stretching an arm towards Ryan.

  "We’re not doing anything," Ryan said.

  “Yeah we just finished,” Ray said.

  The pizza was in the box in the middle of the large table, and everyone was sat around it grabbing a slice. They took their respective seats, Geoff at the head of the table and Jack to his left, Michael and Gavin on the right. Ryan sat down at his usual seat at the end of the table before taking a moment to examine the scene.

  His heart lurched as he scanned the table. It was so familiar to see them all sat around the table, talking over their meals. Ryan looked over at Ray, who had a slight grin on his face. He reached under the table and squeezed Ryan's hand.

  it wasn't exactly like old times. They all looked older, more tired and weary. Even as they all smiled, laughed, Ryan couldn’t help but feel the pang of guilt for all the wrong he’d done to them, and he wasn’t sure that’d ever go away. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted it to go away.

  It wasn't perfect, but hell, at least they were all back together again. Ryan was thankful for that much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comment if you liked it! Or tell me on my [Tumblr.](http://desertsongs.co.vu/)


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